and by brutal, of course, I mean most fucking awesomest! it started innocently enough with a coupla Mickey D’s burgers and a six-pack of Heineken, as I pre-gamed for the Caps-Flyers game last Tuesday…

we had some bitchin’ seats on the 3rd row aisle, right next to the Flyers entrance. the Caps spotted them a 2-0 lead, and then roared back to win 4-2, with help from Ovechkin, who had 2 goals. I believe the line he was on with Backstrom and Semin combined for 9 points.

Wednesday wuz more or less my chill day. hung out with some friends, ate some Hard Times Cafe chili. watched some stuff, got drunk, good times!

Thursday night, the gal I was bringing to San Francisco with me, arrived in town. after kicking back with a few drinks, we went out to Spooky in DC at Alchemy. as soon as I walked in to the place, I heard the delightful melody of Skinny Puppy’s “Assimilate” good omen for sure!

Friday morning, we flew out of Reagan to DFW, then on to SFO. I was essentially comatose on the connecting flight. when we landed in San Fran, it was time to check in to the W hotel. hot damn, is this a fucking stylish hotel or whut! this wuz the 2nd time I’d stayed there, as I wuz out there for the Ultimate Surrender match in July.

one cool aspect of this trip wuz that the gal who wuz with me personally knows both Ariel X and Wenona! who just happened to be wrasslin! sorry I can’t say much more than that b/c it hasn’t gone live yet, but I will say it wuz a helluva match. later in the evening, Wenona hung out with us back at the hotel.

Saturday wuz spent cruising thru the Haight-Ashbury district. where there’s a head shop on every block, and everything is “medicinalized”, brah! we spent most of the time drinking at a cool bar. unfortunately, after about 8 hours of doing this off-and-on coupled with my unsuccessful adjustment to Pacific time, I crashed back at the hotel around 10 PM local time. altho, I hear there are some groovy pics of me passed out in my Halloween court jester out. I’ll put them up on my facebook in the next coupla days.

Sunday wuz our last full day in San Fran, and whut better way to spend it than attending the Skinny Puppy show. oh, wuz this a fucking brutal show! I’ll give a full recap of this show in the next few days (along with some pics) but I’ll just say, I was so fuckin’ impressed, I’m planning to hit up their DC show on the 22nd.

Monday wuz our flyback day. nothing much to report other than when we arrived back at my friends place roundabouts 8 PM local time, we had a coupla drinks, and watched some shows. Kevin Spencer, Food Party, Xavier, Venture Brothers, Curb Your Enthusiasm…

due to some bizarre miscommunication issue, I wuz scheduled to work on Sunday AND Monday, even tho I explicitly told my supervisor on three separate occasions, that I wouldn’t be back until Monday nite! so, I ended up having today and yesterday off. and there’s surely no better sign to let u know vacation time is over, than by having your co-worker call you to ask a stupid question about some fucking planogram.

uhh yeah, don’t you know I haven’t worked since Monday…of last week. I’m sure they’ll find a way to blame me for it, along with numerous queries as to why I “missed” the last two days of work.

sorry that I haven’t updated my blog in the past coupla weeks, but I do intend to blog on a regular basis. can’t forget that I’m behind on two Ultimate Surrender updates, now!

later, chomsky honks!

I done heard about this a few weeks back, but then the great flood of ott-9 occured, and my sub-woofer and speakers to my computer, done shorted out! I finally got around to replacing them three weeks after the fact. this is so fuckin’ hilarious, it needed to be blogged about! Creed fucking sucks donkey dicks, but whoever came up with this video, is a fucking genius!!!

Mellanie Monroe wuz having a tough week. she had just been fired from her job selling motivational cds door-to-door…not to mention, she was sexually violated by several disgruntled lesbians, during her last sales visit…with sexy results

she answered an ad in the local paper looking for hot chicks who wanted to wrestle, get naked, and then have sex with each other. too bad that her first opponent is the reigning queen of Ultimate Surrender…

this is Ariel X’s first official step toward defending her crown. she defeated Savannah West in the season premiere, but it was taped before she smoted Vendetta in the finale of Summer Vengeance.

as you can imagine, Mellanie didn’t stand a chance, altho she did manage to rack up a grand total of 4 points. Ariel took it easy, failing to break 1000. Matt seems to be pretty high on Mellanie, so hopefully that means we’ll see more of her this season…

Ariel X employs the dreaded “Xavier’s Maneuver” on Mellanie Monroe

I’m not a huge Guns N’ Roses fan, and I can’t stand Axl Rose, BUT, I know “Appetite For Destruction” is arguably one of the greatest rock albums of it’s era, and maybe of all time! unless you are hipsterscum, who likes to nitpick about the smallest details. on Friday nite, we were listening to a song off said album, and debating the greatness of it. three people gave it 5 out of 5, I gave it a 4, and hipsterscum gave it…a 3, b/c of “technical flaws in the production” everyone else seemed to think it was an awesome album from beginning to end, but not him. I dunno why, but this frustrated me!

Falco came on…your mom’s face! BURN!!! no, but seriously, we listened to a Falco song, and hipsterscum suggested we listen to whut turned out to be the worst cover of “Der Kommissar” I’ve ever heard. I cried out in vain, that we should watch the original video on youtube, but no such luck.

a girl told me that she had been blocking my facebook posts b/c I was spoiling “Charm School” for her. I totally understood where she was coming from, and we both were in agreement that Bubbles wuz robbed!

we watched the latest South Park, featuring my favourite secondary character, BUTTERS!!! throw in a few jokes about pounding a tranny’s ass, and you’ve got one helluva episode.

I’ll be posting my review of the Wonder Woman(g) animated movie tomorrow. I gotta ramble, they had the balls to schedule me to work on a Sunday…

b/c I broke it out for the first time in several years last Sunday nite, as part of my tribute to Columbus Day. it’s been a while since I done watched me up some Kevin Spencer, and come to find out the show’s been off the air for nearly 4 years!

irregardless, we ended up watching whut done turned out to be the series finale. ***SPOILER ALERT*** it turns out it was all imagined by Allen, who was himself imagined by Kevin Spencer, hilarity ensues. it’s like something straight out of the season 2 finale of Xavier: Renegade Angel…

we also watched John Carpenter’s Prince of Darkness, which I will share my thoughts on in a future blogpost.

when last we saw Vendetta, she was on the business end of a jolly good strap-on fucking at the hands of Ariel X, in the championship match of Summer Vengeance III. well, Vendetta fucking hates to lose, and she takes her first step towards reclaiming the Jewel Throne of Ultimate Surrender, by polishing her skillset against Holly Heart.

Holly is a noob, whom we first laid eyes upon, in an exhibition match with Dragon Lily. yes, Holly looks to be a wrestler with great potential for season 7. bonus points, as she took a strap-on up the ass in round 4 of her match with DL. surely Holly’s first official match at Ultimate Surrender against a former SV champion will help lay the foundation for her future matches.

a fairly impressive showing from Holly, as she managed to score 75 points, and was able to keep Vendetta’s fingers at bay. still tho, Vendetta won this one comfortably, and followed it up with some backdoor lovin’ in round 4.

next week, Ariel X is in action against Mellanie Monroe. yes, we all know Ariel is going to win this match, but if you haven’t seen Mellanie yet, be sure to check out the Whipped Ass shoot she did with Isis and Harmony.

in the annals of the epic Costanza-esque father-son clashes I’ve had over the years, nothing could have prepared me for yesterday. an epic breakthru occured during the dinner service. my father had finally discovered my affinity for Ultimate Surrender. he knew I wuz going out there specifically for the match at the end of this month. and he was totally cool with it! he wuz actually more concerned about how much money I wuz spending on the trip, than wot I wuz actually going out there for. we toasted with a shot of Bacardi 151, SMOOTH!!!

I reckon he might’ve seen a pic of me saved on my hard drive from when I wuz out there in July. and that’s about as far as it got, b/c I don’t wanna know how he actually found out, and he doesn’t wanna know what else happened there…

Can you believe, he wanted to wear a Tim & Eric shirt, on a cross-country flight?!?

COME FORTH!
THE GODDESS OF SODOMY!!!

Isis Love is back, mutha fuckas! after nearly 1.5 years, she returns to singles competition. she’s got a spectacular new rack, and may be shooting for the likes of THA DOUBLE ZZ, but this former full-time employee of Kink, still loves to throw down on Ultimate Surrender. she and Dragon Lily are the only two active wrestlers left on the roster from season 1. we got a first-hand look at her skillz during the tag team shoot with Vendetta, including the epic cornholing she gave Dia Zerva in round 4.

Thea Marie aka “Leeloo” is in a rare group of gals, as she contacted Matt about wrestling for Ultimate Surrender. our research department was unable to find out much else about her, other than we saw her give a damn fine tag team blowjob with Keeani Lei in Jonni Darkko’s Load Sharing 2. oh yeah, and also Leeloo was the name of Milla Jovovich’s character in The Fifth Element, which was an excellent movie.

Isis Love became the first wrestler in approx. 2 years, to force her opponent to orgasm on the mat during the match. she also racked up 1200+ points, to set a new season high on the scoring record. Thea Marie says she will be back, so getting taking to the woodshed by a US legend, should help prepare her for her next match.

The Goddess…of sodomy, making Thea Marie, WORK…for love

it was the first loss of the season for the BLC, and one that Coach Brayne Varner did not take lightly. the combination of just 13 points from their three receivers, and Antonio Gates 2 TD, 124 yards receiving performance for their opponent, spelled the first defeat of the season for the BLC.

already looking ahead to week 5, Varner declared it the team’s “unofficial official bye week” citing Jay Cutler, Vincent Jackson, and Marques Colston, all on their bye next week. it should provide ample opportunity for the team to work on excuses as to why they undoubtedly will lose.

same old trip it was last weekend
so I made a big mistake
try to see it once my way

or so it goes. another Friday after work, another chance to throw back a drink or four, with some co-workers. and then I went over to my friend’s place to hang out. of course, I don’t have that mechanism in the back of my head, whut tells me things I should think, but never say out loud. oh dear, I once again got on my Ultimate Surrender kick *awkward* may have also told a girl that I like her *uncomfortable* came home that nite around 3 AM, and all was well.

woke up around 8:30 AM to find my kitchen AND basement flooded! the culprit was a faulty rubber hose going from the kitchen sink to the hot water faucet. I’d say there was at least 2-3 inches of water, a fucking nightmare! I went next door to borrow my neighbor’s wet-vac, and after several hours, we had sucked up all the water we could. the carpets still smell like ass, and I’ve got several fans going, but it appears as tho I’ve done everything I can for now. a trip to Home Depot for the replacement METAL hose this time. b/c it was only 2 dollars more ($4) looking back, I wonder why anyone would use these bullshit rubber hoses.

with the flooding issue taken care of, I went to the Caps home opener that nite vs Toronto. Caps were looking damn good, jumping out to a 6-1 lead after two periods, before phoning it in the 3rd period, en route to a 6-4 win. I’m happy to report that Ovie bobblehead finally has some company, in the form of a Mike Green bobblehead, that they were giving out to fans at the game.

after consuming many adult beverages, and heckling the shit out of the Maple Leafs, me and my buddy went to Five Guys. I caught the Itis something fierce after downing some fries and a Bacon Cheeseburger whut done had onions, lettuce, and ketchup on it. just thinking about that burger makes my dick hard!

I went back over to my friend’s place again, b/c I felt like passing out while watching a movie. we decided to watch Mean Girls in 720p. funny movie, altho corny at times. analysts confirm I began drifting in and out at around the 17-minute mark.

we also skimmed thru some of the Wizard of Oz in 720p. where all the glaring shortcuts of 1930s Hollywood moviemaking are brought to light! I’m not gonna lie, I became just a wee bit creeped out by Judy Garland in 720p. no offence, just sayin’ is all.

Sunday was just one of those lazy kinda days where I didn’t even feel like putting any pants on. I just sat around drinking Heineken, watching football, and playing NHL 10. I meant to re-watch The Foot Fist Way, but my procrastination skillz were in full effect, so I never got around to it. maybe tonite, tho.