is there anything better than a hot AZN chick who kicks a little ass, and also doesn’t mind taking it in the ass?!? this is why I watch, b/c of ladies like Dragon Lily. one of the originals of Ultimate Surrender, and easily the best wrestler, who has yet to win Summer Vengeance. she never lost a step since coming back from maternity leave. already with one win under her belt against Jesse Cox, she is back to put another season 7 noob thru the US wringer…with sexy results

Mellanie Monroe is a big-titted MILF who first caught our attention in a Whipped Ass shoot she did with Isis and Harmony. she made her debut on Ultimate Surrender against reigning champion, Ariel X. it doesn’t promise to get any easier for Mel, as she continues with her initiation. given the caliber of talent she has faced, it can only serve to better prepare her for future matches.

this turned out to be another great chance to showcase the Dragon’s ever-expanding offensive repertoire. she went “balls out” (OOOOH!) in round 1 to prove a point to one forumer who “doesn’t get it” (NOT HUEPOW!) in control from the outset, she picks up another impressive win, 787-12. as loaded a roster as it is, I still believe it will be Ariel X and Dragon Lily meeting in the finale of Summer Vengeance IV. I’m looking forward to seeing Mz. Monroe take on some wrestlers who are a bit further down the US ladder.

“ALL YOUR PUSSIES ARE BELONG TO ME!!!”

I ain’t been feeling myself since I returned from San Francisco three weeks ago. I developed a nagging cough, my body ached, and my nose was constantly stuffed up. after trying to combat these symptoms with half-ass remedies like Advil, cough drops, Delsym cough syrup, and bottom shelf vodka, I finally went to the doctor yesterday. the past coupla nites I had been coughing constantly, waking up with the nite sweats. I even had a dream that I wuz watching a movie about horses, but for whatever reason, I couldn’t stop crying!

the doctor tested me for swine flu, which came back negative, but it did end up that I had bronchitis…and my ears need a good cleaning out. she prescribed me Tussionex and Azithromy. after just one dose of each, I feel 10x better than I have at any point over the last week. I feel more tired than anything else, as I try to catch up on all the sleep I’ve lost. my chest is sore from all the coughing. Fuckphlegm isn’t just a great noisegrind song by Cystem, it’s my own personal mantra, as I return to my regularly scheduled, socially-awkward self.

when Rain DeGrey started a thread on the US forums several weeks back, she trumpeted the fact that she would be wrestling our ninth-ranked “Rogue” Amber Rayne. on top of that, Rain revealed that she had agreed to be fucked in the ass, were she to lose. when she asked for helpful tips prior to the match, one intrepid forumer replied “conveniently forget to take an enema, and let the sparks fly in round 4.” Matt was grossed out by that idea, and I laughed just a little.

Amber Rayne already has one win under her belt this season, and once again proved the old adage that experience will win out every time over size in the world of Ultimate Surrender. the Rogue rolled to an impressive victory over Ms. DeGrey to the tune of 1090-379. sodomy was the best policy in round 4!

we had to stay vigilant, Rain’s butthole was in constant jeopardy

after winning the regular season title, and claiming the #1 seed in Summer Vengeance, Dia Zervacame up short in her quest to become overall champion. never one to dwell on the past, Dia is back to make another run at the crown. she enters season 7, ranked 4th, and out to prove, she is deserving of a much higher ranking.

Angelica Sage aka “The Empress” is 20 years old, brand new to the porn game, and what we here at IGRO like to call a nice tall drink of water. at 5′ 9″, she believers her size will play to her advantage against smaller opponents. she’s another gal who contacted Matt about wrestling at Ultimate Surrender. to which, I just gotta say “HOT DAMN!”

Dia received major propz from IGRO, when she became just the second woman in Ultimate Surrender to wrestle in a handicap match. altho, she was on the losing end against Ami Emerson and Adrianna Nicole, she more than held her own, in losing by less than 100 points. HOT DP ACTION IN RD 4!!!

in her season 7 singles debut, the Iron Maiden punished Angelica all three rounds, completely grounding her much taller opponent. The Empress failed to generate any offense, and was shut out 868-0. another veteran taking a noob to school. let’s hope to see more of Angelica in season 7!

Darling is back for season 7. when last we saw her, she suffered an injury during her Summer Vengeance semi-final match against Vendetta. she’s fully recovered, and ready to pick up right where she left off. another old school veteran ready to take a promising noob, and show her the ropes of Ultimate Surrender.

enter Tara Lynn Fox, aka The Shortstop. at just 19 years old, she’s a recent high school graduate, looking to make a name for herself in the glamorous world of underground lesbian sexfighting. she got her nickname b/c she used to play for the high school softball team. I bet those were some sexy team showers!

before the match, I went on record as saying TLF would be my early pick for rookie of the year. Darling would have none of it, as she completely dismantled the shortstop, to the tune of 1170-0! Darling appeared no worse for wear from the injury that knocked her out of Summer Vengeance. another veteran takes a noob to the woodshed!

and by brutal, of course, I mean most fucking awesomest! it started innocently enough with a coupla Mickey D’s burgers and a six-pack of Heineken, as I pre-gamed for the Caps-Flyers game last Tuesday…

we had some bitchin’ seats on the 3rd row aisle, right next to the Flyers entrance. the Caps spotted them a 2-0 lead, and then roared back to win 4-2, with help from Ovechkin, who had 2 goals. I believe the line he was on with Backstrom and Semin combined for 9 points.

Wednesday wuz more or less my chill day. hung out with some friends, ate some Hard Times Cafe chili. watched some stuff, got drunk, good times!

Thursday night, the gal I was bringing to San Francisco with me, arrived in town. after kicking back with a few drinks, we went out to Spooky in DC at Alchemy. as soon as I walked in to the place, I heard the delightful melody of Skinny Puppy’s “Assimilate” good omen for sure!

Friday morning, we flew out of Reagan to DFW, then on to SFO. I was essentially comatose on the connecting flight. when we landed in San Fran, it was time to check in to the W hotel. hot damn, is this a fucking stylish hotel or whut! this wuz the 2nd time I’d stayed there, as I wuz out there for the Ultimate Surrender match in July.

one cool aspect of this trip wuz that the gal who wuz with me personally knows both Ariel X and Wenona! who just happened to be wrasslin! sorry I can’t say much more than that b/c it hasn’t gone live yet, but I will say it wuz a helluva match. later in the evening, Wenona hung out with us back at the hotel.

Saturday wuz spent cruising thru the Haight-Ashbury district. where there’s a head shop on every block, and everything is “medicinalized”, brah! we spent most of the time drinking at a cool bar. unfortunately, after about 8 hours of doing this off-and-on coupled with my unsuccessful adjustment to Pacific time, I crashed back at the hotel around 10 PM local time. altho, I hear there are some groovy pics of me passed out in my Halloween court jester out. I’ll put them up on my facebook in the next coupla days.

Sunday wuz our last full day in San Fran, and whut better way to spend it than attending the Skinny Puppy show. oh, wuz this a fucking brutal show! I’ll give a full recap of this show in the next few days (along with some pics) but I’ll just say, I was so fuckin’ impressed, I’m planning to hit up their DC show on the 22nd.

Monday wuz our flyback day. nothing much to report other than when we arrived back at my friends place roundabouts 8 PM local time, we had a coupla drinks, and watched some shows. Kevin Spencer, Food Party, Xavier, Venture Brothers, Curb Your Enthusiasm…

due to some bizarre miscommunication issue, I wuz scheduled to work on Sunday AND Monday, even tho I explicitly told my supervisor on three separate occasions, that I wouldn’t be back until Monday nite! so, I ended up having today and yesterday off. and there’s surely no better sign to let u know vacation time is over, than by having your co-worker call you to ask a stupid question about some fucking planogram.

uhh yeah, don’t you know I haven’t worked since Monday…of last week. I’m sure they’ll find a way to blame me for it, along with numerous queries as to why I “missed” the last two days of work.

sorry that I haven’t updated my blog in the past coupla weeks, but I do intend to blog on a regular basis. can’t forget that I’m behind on two Ultimate Surrender updates, now!

later, chomsky honks!

I done heard about this a few weeks back, but then the great flood of ott-9 occured, and my sub-woofer and speakers to my computer, done shorted out! I finally got around to replacing them three weeks after the fact. this is so fuckin’ hilarious, it needed to be blogged about! Creed fucking sucks donkey dicks, but whoever came up with this video, is a fucking genius!!!

Mellanie Monroe wuz having a tough week. she had just been fired from her job selling motivational cds door-to-door…not to mention, she was sexually violated by several disgruntled lesbians, during her last sales visit…with sexy results

she answered an ad in the local paper looking for hot chicks who wanted to wrestle, get naked, and then have sex with each other. too bad that her first opponent is the reigning queen of Ultimate Surrender…

this is Ariel X’s first official step toward defending her crown. she defeated Savannah West in the season premiere, but it was taped before she smoted Vendetta in the finale of Summer Vengeance.

as you can imagine, Mellanie didn’t stand a chance, altho she did manage to rack up a grand total of 4 points. Ariel took it easy, failing to break 1000. Matt seems to be pretty high on Mellanie, so hopefully that means we’ll see more of her this season…

Ariel X employs the dreaded “Xavier’s Maneuver” on Mellanie Monroe

I’m not a huge Guns N’ Roses fan, and I can’t stand Axl Rose, BUT, I know “Appetite For Destruction” is arguably one of the greatest rock albums of it’s era, and maybe of all time! unless you are hipsterscum, who likes to nitpick about the smallest details. on Friday nite, we were listening to a song off said album, and debating the greatness of it. three people gave it 5 out of 5, I gave it a 4, and hipsterscum gave it…a 3, b/c of “technical flaws in the production” everyone else seemed to think it was an awesome album from beginning to end, but not him. I dunno why, but this frustrated me!

Falco came on…your mom’s face! BURN!!! no, but seriously, we listened to a Falco song, and hipsterscum suggested we listen to whut turned out to be the worst cover of “Der Kommissar” I’ve ever heard. I cried out in vain, that we should watch the original video on youtube, but no such luck.

a girl told me that she had been blocking my facebook posts b/c I was spoiling “Charm School” for her. I totally understood where she was coming from, and we both were in agreement that Bubbles wuz robbed!

we watched the latest South Park, featuring my favourite secondary character, BUTTERS!!! throw in a few jokes about pounding a tranny’s ass, and you’ve got one helluva episode.

I’ll be posting my review of the Wonder Woman(g) animated movie tomorrow. I gotta ramble, they had the balls to schedule me to work on a Sunday…

b/c I broke it out for the first time in several years last Sunday nite, as part of my tribute to Columbus Day. it’s been a while since I done watched me up some Kevin Spencer, and come to find out the show’s been off the air for nearly 4 years!

irregardless, we ended up watching whut done turned out to be the series finale. ***SPOILER ALERT*** it turns out it was all imagined by Allen, who was himself imagined by Kevin Spencer, hilarity ensues. it’s like something straight out of the season 2 finale of Xavier: Renegade Angel…

we also watched John Carpenter’s Prince of Darkness, which I will share my thoughts on in a future blogpost.