and let’s face it, all Washington-area sports teams suck donkey balls…except for the Capitals. season opens tonite in Boston. a potential preview of the Eastern Conference finals, mayhaps? Ovie is the two-time League MVP, and the odds-on favourite to make it a third.
in the 22 years I’ve been following hockey (albeit I stopped following it from 2004-2007, b/c I was bitter A-BOAT the strike) this is the first time I’ve ever been to a home opener! this Saturday, vs Toronto. I got tix right above the Leafs tunnel, seven rows from the ice. they are gonna raise that Southeast Division banner, should be exciting stuff!
Caps over the Blackhawks in 6 games in the SC Finals, PUT IT ON THE BOARD!!! noted Blackhawks fan, Al Jourgensen, is pissed off even more, when the Caps decide to play Ministry’s “With Sympathy” album during the Cup presentation.
Ovie bobblehead shows off the tix he bought me for opening nite!
the queen of the lightweights makes her triumphant return to Ultimate Surrender. the injuries that plagued her campaigns in each of the last two seasons, are now a thing of the past. she is leaner, and still quick as a cat. her impressive performance against Bella Rossi in the 1/4 finals of Summer Vengeance III, earned her mad propz, in a losing effort. proving that she can hang with any gal of any weight class and skill level.
Ashley Jane is a 95-lb ball of sexual energy. get your fingers in this girl, and she melts…like buttah, moaning like a whore in heat. waiting to feel your pulsating, throbbing cock enter her tight, wet sna-…err, where was I?
Amber 926
Ashley 22
oh, and next week, we’ve got the return to singles action, of Isis Love! she’ll be facing Thea Marie, a gal who contacted Matt about wrasslin’. is there a possible upset brewin?
Matt has removed Savannah West from the rankings…
and from the “this is why we love Dragon Lily” department…when a forumer dared to post that DL was no longer a top competitor, she replied “I let them think what they want” that’s right baby, b/c this is Dragon Lily’s world, and all your pussies are belong to her!
the Bensonhoist Lesbian Choir came away with a 113-100 win in week 3 over The Steel Curtain, and is the only unbeaten team left in the prestigious Beer Bongers Fantasy Football League, following the first round of divisional play.
Prance Rosner was quite pleased with the overall performance of his team. benching DeAngelo Williams in favour of Ray Rice paid immediate dividends against the swiss cheese-like defense of the Cleveland Browns. Rice found the end zone, and finished with 48 yards on 11 carries.
the Ravens defense limited Cleveland to just 186 yards of total offense, and forced 4 turnovers in the 34-3 blowout victory.
with the apparent conflict of interest between himself and offensive co-ordinator, Brayne Varner, behind him, Jay Cutler came back from his week 2 benching, to throw for 247 yards and 3 touchdowns in the Bears 25-19 win in Seattle.
“this was an internal matter that resolved itself of it’s own volition. I’m just happy to be back in the starting lineup.” said Cutler during Sunday’s post-game press conference.
Vincent Jackson turned in another solid effort with 5 catches for 120 yards in the Chargers 23-13 victory over Miami.
and who said tight ends don’t put up good fantasy numbers. Brent Celek of the Eagles got his first start of the season for the BLC, and delivered with 106 yards receiving, including a 35-yard touchdown catch in the Eagles 34-14 victory over Kansas City.
Jay Cutler’s 25-point effort helped the Choir remain undefeated this season
pretty good weekend. whilst I waited for my ride to pick me up after a long day of selling Canon cameras, I mosied on over to Hops, to partake in libations with a few co-workers. 10 minutes later, I had drank three shots of Crown Royal and had a decent buzz going.
when I arrived at my friend’s place, we watched a movie. I don’t remember what it was called, but it was funny. I think it was made by the same guy that did a movie with that other guy. you know, he’s from Canada. I think it had something to do with martial arts. Feet something, eh, whateva!
anyways, I remember my stand-up material was gold on this nite. I entertained the audience with several snappy one-liners about my ponderous job in retail. I got a few laughs, it was hella awesome! definitely thinking about incorporating some of those jokes in to my next act.
the heavy burden of being the world’s greatest camera salesman/binge drinker/failed stand-up comic, was too much for me to overcome, and I eventually passed out. and then, in the morning, I was gone…
just days before she was to claim her spot at the top of the Ultimate Surrender mountain, Ariel X joined forces with her partner in crime, Wenona, to battle the star of “Clown Porn” Hollie Stevens, and Bella Rossi.
this was your typical 1 & 8 vs. 10 & 11 tag team affair. Ariel and Wenona improved their record to 3-0. with the loss, Hollie and Bella were eliminated from playoff contention (0-3) the win sets up an epic battle between AX & Wenona and the only other undefeated team, Isis & Vendetta, to be taped next month! this will more than likely be the prelude to the tag team championship.
what I really wanna talk about is the audience! check out the gal in the front row wearing the high heels, with her legs crossed. HOLY SHIT! AM I RIGHT?!?!? if they gave out an award for sexiest audience member, she would win it. oh gurl, plz tell me you’ll be at next month’s taping!
and also, how about the brah in the sunglasses sitting behind her? HOLY SHIT! AM I RIGHT?!?!? if thine eyes don’t deceiveth thou, I would swear to thee, that he was using a Canon SD 780. the very same camera I was using at the July taping!
front row, dead center, in the heels, sexiest audience member….EVER!!!
Buffalo’s top pick in this year’s entry draft, Johnny Huepow, was sent down to the AHL affiliate in Portland. in his first four games, he failed to register a point, and had a -3 rating.
but in three games with the Portland Pirates, he has exploded for 5 goals, 1 assist, and a +5 rating. scoring twice in his first game against Springfield in a 4-1 Pirates win. he followed that up with another two goal effort in his home debut against Providence, a 4-0 win. he registered the team’s only goal in a 2-1 shootout loss to Bridgeport.
“being demoted taught me a lot of humility” said Huepow “I struggled in Buffalo to find a rhythm in Coach Ruff’s system, but I think this time in Portland will help me to develop my overall game, and better contribute to the Sabres when I do get called up…or until I decide to start over and play for the Caps”
Johnny Huepow, and his magnificent glowing crotch!
Skwisbob Skwigpants, who fronted his own black metal band, in his hometown of Oslo, Norway, before becoming the beloved cartoon character you see today.
he reunites his band, Sadistic Strapon Skullfuckers of Skandolnavya, to pay tribute to another Norwegian band, 1349, with this brutal cover of “Sculptor of Flesh” I believe there is already a video of Skwisbob covering a King Diamond tune, but this one is just as good, if not better!
Dragon Lily wrestled an exhibition match against Holly Heart over the summer, and the Ultimate Surrender forum collectively creamed their pants! now, she makes her official return to singles competition in this week’s update against Jessie Cox.
poor Jessie Cox! she did gymnastics and cheerleading in college. she represents the new school of Ultimate Surrender in season 7, and is determined to make a name for herself. she has already shot for other Kink sites. unfortunately for her, every noob has to start out at the bottom of the ladder, and she has drawn the Dragon for her debut match.
if there was any doubt as to whether or not Dragon Lily was in top competetive form, it will have been completely erased, after this match. a total thrashing of the noob! Dragon Lily scored early and often, proving she has absoluterly no ring rust, following her maternity leave. she even broke out a few new moves, en route to racking up over 1100 points. that’s right, in her first official match back, she is already setting scoring records!
for everyone frothing over a potential Ariel vs Dragon Lily match, all I wanna say is, please be patient. this was the match-up we boldly predicted for the final of Summer Vengeance IV. yes, I wanna see them wrestle each other too, but there needs to be some build-up. this is after all, only week 2.
and next week, we have Amber Rayne vs. Ashley Jane. judging from the bump, this match could set all kinds of records for most bodily fluids expunged on the mat!
yeap, 2 wins was all we got. that’s what I get for drafting a QB in the first round (even if it was Peyton Manning)
Prance Rosner made a few adjustments to his week 2 lineup, benching Jay Cutler and Steven Jackson for Kerry Collins and Ray Rice, respectively. of course this backfired, costing him an extra 9 points, but the rest of his team was on point!
Vincent Jackson, DeAngelo Williams, and Marques Colston (twice) all found the end zone. the BLC cracked 100 points en route to a 102-85 victory over the Nutcrackers.
it appears as tho the benching of both Cutler and Jackson may only be temporary, as both have somewhat favourable match-ups in week 3.
because my milky white buttocks had not completely collapsed upon themselves from Complete Rectal Shutdown ver 1.0, I gotta ramble on…back to the west coast, and more specifically San Francisco from Oct. 30 thru Nov. 2. yes, that’s right, I’m going to another Ultimate Surrender tag team match. only this time, I’m going for the weekend, and I’m bringing a special guest! it should be pretty fucking awesome b/c if you’re familiar with this blog in even the slightest, you know I’m a HUGE Ariel X fanboy! lo and behold, her and Wenona will be wrestling Isis aka “GoddeZZ of Sodomy” and Vendetta. and from the “it’s a small world after all” department, the gal I am bringing with me, knows Ariel X! who knows, maybe we can all go back to Isis house, and play some Nintendo Wii after the match
but wait, that’s not all! Skinny Puppy is playing San Fran on Nov. 1! and they just happen to be one of my all-time favourite bands. I’ve already gone on record as saying the show I saw them play at the 9:30 club in June of ott-7 was the best show I’ve ever seen! industry analysts are already predicting this could be the best weekend ever…
