Time To Put My Penis Where My Mouth Is

after months of talking about it, and planning for it, the time has finally arrived! only one event could make me shave both my head and my pubes…my vacation to California, which I have lovingly code-named “Complete Rectal Shutdown” is just hours away!

first stop:
San Francisco – Ultimate Surrender tag match taping: Isis & Vendetta vs. Dia Zerva & Yana Jordan. when I found out Isis was returning, I immediately circled the date on my calendar. I’ve also heard rumours Annie “Pacquiao” Cruz and Hollie “Clown Porn” Stevens may be in attendance. I’m so fucking excited about this, I could cum in my pants!!! I hope I can get in the front row, but I’m just happy to be attending. this is a BYOB event, but I plan to do my drinking before the match (like as soon as I land in SF) in moderation. hopefully, there will be stuff to do after the match.

next stop:
Santa Monica – a year ago, I was walking down the boardwalk, when I was approached by a hot chick, who spotted me in my Ween shirt. she told me that she liked Ween, but that “La Cucaracha” was the only album she had heard. I instructed her to inhale three cans of lemon-scented Pledge, and then listen to “Pure Guava”

next stop:
San Diego – Comic-Con!!! apparently, this is some pretty big shit! my buddy in LA told me he knows quite a few ppl who are attending. I’m going on Sunday, which means I’ll miss mc chris and Tim & Eric. AWW, HORSE APPLES!!! but wait, [adult swim] has a booth! PFFR won’t, but I’ll still be stylin’ and profilin’ all over the convention floor in my boss new Xavier: Renegade Angel shirt!

next stop:
Los Angeles – I’ll be there for the majority of my trip, hanging out somewhere off of Santa Monica Blvd. my friend lives in an apartment building, where you can see the sign for the Roosevelt Hotel. last time I was there, we hit up the Sunset Strip. the Hustler Store had some really hot chicks working there. they were the cool kind, who made conversation b/c they wanted to. not the stripper kind, who do it b/c they’re trying to make money. I also went to the Rainbow Room, where Guns N’ Roses filmed their “November Rain” video. I saw a guy wearing a Coroner hat, and I was like “Punishment For Decadence, brah!”

this will be my last blogpost until next weekend. I’ll still continue tweeting about my trip, via my lame-ass facebook page. like when I go on my lunch date to Jack In The Box with Dana DeArmond, or if I see someone famous doing lines of coke off a stripper’s breasts that are the size of Ethiopia. I gotta ramble…huepow out!

artist’s re-envisualizing of potential meeting between this blog’s proprietor, and Isis aka “The Goddess…of Sodomy”


One Response to “Time To Put My Penis Where My Mouth Is”

  1. Clint Says:

    please take like 200 pics at comiccon

    Coroner hat FTW!!

    p.s. you could have scheduled posts for the dates you were gone! just wait for my star trek 1-10 reviews 🙂

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