Complete Rectal Shutdown – Day 3 – Comic-Con

JULY 26
it was the grand unveiling of my hot new Xavier: Renegade Angel “The Biz” shirt that was the real story heading in to the final day of Comic-Con! I didn’t really give a fuck about seeing dudes dressed up as Cobra Vipers, or some dude with his “Twilight Ruined Comic-Con” sign. there were some fuckin’ hardcore nerds there!

I got a whole bunch of swag from the event, they were handing out as you entered the convention center. ideally, I would’ve liked to attend the live table reading by the cast of American Dad, but the line was so fucking long, I never had a chance.

as I strolled the convention floor, I began to get a few weird looks. my X:RA shirt was starting to get noticed. I strolled past the [adult swim] and quickly realized there wasn’t a whole fuckload of shit to do there. hell, if you weren’t paying attention, you’d probably walk right past their booth, which was a small corner booth, located somewhere in one of the 3000 aisles. subsequent email correspondence with the fine folks at PFFR would confirm what I had already suspected, that PFFR and [adult swim] are not BFFs! a subject I will address in a future installment of my Complete Rectal Shutdown tour.

I found a real fuckin’ gem at the end of the day, when I noticed a booth that was selling all these metal band shirts. that’s when our eyes locked, and I knew I had to have it…a FUCKING hellhammer “Apocalyptic Raids” shirt. not only that, but it was only $15! this made the whole experience so worth it!

as I exited the main floor, I noticed Ron Jeremy talking on his cell phone. how ironic, that I had watched a Toxic Avenger movie he was in, just the previous nite. circle of life, brah!

before I could label this a total success, I was hellbent on finding the G4 booth, and namely, Olivia Munn. she had this low-cut top that exposed just enough cleavage to give me a raging hard-on. she’s got the kind of funbags you just wanna stick your peni…

we interrupt this regularly scheduled blogpost for this special bulletin:
someone is posing as Hollie Stevens on craigslist! here’s what our intrepid reporter and resident sex fiend, Percy Handfisher, found out.

Hollie put the word out on her facebook yesterday of this egregious travesty. we called “Hollie” late last nite, after finishing a bottle of Crown Royal, to get the scoop.

despite having her back turned to the camera in the pic she was using in the ad, she swore up and down that she was the real deal. I quickly turned the subject to Ultimate Surrender. after telling her about meeting up at last month’s tag match, she quickly remembered who I was. but, then I asked her who won the match, and she said she was too busy to notice. HAHAHA!!! well, that’s all this chomsky honk needed to hear. no sooner had I gotten off the phone with her, than she sent me a text saying I could see her at Lusty Lady on Kearny…wherever the fuck that is, is the end of that sentence. at least now I know where I can get a good deal on a rusty trombone the next time I’m in the Bay Area…

we now return to our regularly scheduled blogpost, already in progress:

and so that’s when I turned to her and said “no, you have chickenmouth!” hehehe, good times!

Comic-Con
Comic-Con SWAG!!!

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One Response to “Complete Rectal Shutdown – Day 3 – Comic-Con”

  1. Clint Says:

    I don’t mean to sound gay.. but I love your style, haha

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