Local Idiot Books Vacation That Doesn’t Revolve Around Watching Naked Chicks Wrassle

I have approx. 100 hours of vacation time, I have to blow out like a 19 year-old co-ed’s o-ring, by August. so I venture back to the west coast, where I pursue dreams of becoming a failed comedy writer. typing feverishly on my laptop, sipping on a cafe mochafrappaccino, outside the Starbucks on La Brea. maybe go trolling for some cougars at the Roosevelt Hotel. turn more heads on Hollywood Blvd. looking fucking stylish in my transition lenses, and my “The Biz” shirt. speaking of “The Biz” PFFR has an art exhibit I plan to check out while I’m in LA.
April 9-11

I also got tix for the Faith No More show at The Warfield in San Francisco on April 12. this just so happens to be their first show in the US in over a decade. really looking forward to this, b/c I’m a huge Mike Patton fanboy. seen him once with FNM when they were opening on the Jaymz and Axl BFF tour in 92. I saw Patton again in 2004, with Fantomas (widely regarded as the third-greatest Mike Patton side project after Mr. Bungle, and the aforementioned, FNM)
April 12-14

and b/c the only way I know how to do this, is the highly controversial, “balls out” way, I’ll be staying at the fabulous W Hotel. the only Bay Area hotel officially endorsed by adult film star, Isis Love…

Mike Patton
Everybody Loves Patton


One Response to “Local Idiot Books Vacation That Doesn’t Revolve Around Watching Naked Chicks Wrassle”

  1. Clint Says:

    Hahaha.. nice headline 🙂

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