Between Two Ferns

Between Two Ferns is a mock talk show, hosted by Zach Galifianakis, that I just recently started watching. each episode consists of Zach conducting a 3-4 minute interview with a celebrity, which yields awkward, yet hilarious results!

Michael Cera – Zach asks Michael about how he got in to acting. Zach falls asleep with his eyes open. he says he came to the States in 2002. Zach replies “after 9/11” and then cues up a crowd booing. Zach asks about Superbad. he asks if the movie is appropriate for 12 year-olds, and then mocks Michael when he answers. Zach asks if Michael is ticklish. segment ends with some attempts at inappropriate touching, before Zach closes by asking what Michael’s hobbies are.

Jimmy Kimmel – introduced as Timmy Kimbles; Zach’s been drinking, they have a beer. Zach asks what it’s like to date Sarah Silverman. Jimmy says ppl come up to him all the time and say “you guys must crack each other up all the time” which gets tiring. Zach asks Jimmy “so you guys must crack each other up all the time?” Zach mentions Long John Silvers, but Sarah doesn’t like fish. Zach says “good one, I know what that means” Zach asks if he ever kissed Ben Affleck. after a word from Zach’s new sponsor, Barry’s Bananas, leaves him furious, Zach closes the interview by asking if Jimmy likes bananas.

Jon Hamm – is your middle name honey baked? have you ever thought about changing your name to Jon Sausage? you were in The Day The Earth Stood Still, why? Mad Men is a show set in the 60s, not about ppl in their 60s. Zach says there are a lot of attractive women on that show, and asks if Jon’s ever fingered any of them.
“it says here you won a Golden Globe?”
“yes, I did”
“mark that under who gives a shit”
interview ends with Zach sneezing repeatedly in Jon’s crotch, and then revealing he’s allergic to ferns.

Charlize Theron – it’s hot in the studio today. mispronounces her name several times. “so you were in Monsters Inc.?” talks about the Oscar she won for “Monster” Charlize talks about a dog she recently adopted, who is pretty sick. Zach interrupts by holding a copy of Need For Speed in front of her face. Zach asks if Charlize visits South Africa. Charlize says quite a bit, then asks if Zach’s ever been with a girlfriend or alone. Zach says his girlfriend looks a little bit like Charlize, and a lot like Dog the Bounty Hunter. Charlize thinks Zach is sweet for saying that. she then reveals that she has sweat running down the back of her thigh, and that a naked dip in the pool, is the only thing that can cool her off. Zach asks if he can join her in the naked pool. Charlize cracks up at the image of being in a pool with Zach, referring to him as a “fat garden gnome” Zach says he hopes her dog dies. Charlize still laughing, says she just pissed herself.

Bradley Cooper – co-star from The Hangover. Carrot Top is in the corner, texting. Zach mentions how much he loves Wedding Crashers. Bradley talks about what it was like working with Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson. Zach interrupts to say he was actually thinking of The Wedding Planner. Bradley starts talking about working with Matthew McConaughey on Failure To Launch, to which Zach replies “who gives a fuck” you are on the cover of Details, which is a great magazine if you run out of cologne” Bradley talks about hosting SNL, to which Zach replies “was Elayne Boosler unavailable?” Bradley asks why Zach is being so mean to him, and the segment ends with them slapping each other.

Natalie Portman – and her dog, Wizz. Zach tries to get her phone number. they talk about her charity work, Zach talks about the work he does with imdb. he asks her what it’s like working with Chewbacca. Zach asks if she gets tired of ppl trying to feed her lines, and then asks “wouldn’t it be cool if you were about to do a love scene, and you were about to take off your bikini top and said I have something I wanna get off my chest”
“you shaved your head for V for Vendetta, did you also shave your V for Vagina?”
Zach says he has a bigger dick than Wizz

Conan O’ Brien – while he was still hosting the Tonight Show; Andy Richter is also there. Conan makes a joke about Papa Smurf b/c Zach is wearing a blue suit. cue the sound of a grasshopper riding a tumbleweed. Conan talks about how pale he is. he talks about how they’ve taped about 40 shows, and that 2 of them are actually quite funny. Zach mentions how unprepared Conan was when he started hosting. “yeah, when I started hosting Late Night” Zach corrects him with “I meant on the Tonight Show” Zach is upset he didn’t get the Tonight Show gig. Andy Dick is the next guest “Papa Smurf called, he wants his suit back” everyone laughs, cut to Conan looking dejected.

Ben Stiller – introduced as Ben Stickler, then Ben Stiffler, before Zach corrects himself. Zach says it would be a good idea if he changed his name to something like Ben there, done that Stiller. Ben mentions something about Zach being form the South. Zach asks Ben if he’s making fun of ppl from the South, “b/c they’re stupid enough to see your fuckin’ movies” Zach asks if he ever gets annoyed when ppl ask him to do stuff in an interview, then asks him to do the “blue steel” look from Zoolander. “you mean the jew steel look?” replies Stiller, at which point Zach admits his crew told him it was blue steel, and that he’s never actually seen the movie. Zach plays a clip from Ben’s new movie “Greenberg” but there’s only audio. Zach says it look like a good movie. he asks if there’s a car in the movie, b/c it sounded like someone slammed a car door. Zach asks what’s the worst movie he’s been in Ben says “Highway To Hell” and Zach replies “Night At The Museum 2” Ben mentions that they are casting for NatM 3, and Zach asks if he can be in it. Zach gives him his email address, which is benstillerfaggot69@verizon.net. he would’ve just used benstillerfaggot, but that was already taken. Zach asks if he ever thought about following his parents footsteps in comedy (Jerry Stiller aka Frank Costanza and Anne Meara) Ben takes his mic off, and leaves the set. Zach continues to antagonize him on the way out, which leads Ben to start punching Zach thru the back of the set.

each interview definitely has some LOL moments, but if I had to pick my absolute favourite, it would be the Charlize Theron interview, which I’ve included below. I became so inspired by watching this show, that I wrote a 4-minute script imagining what it would be like if Zach Galifianakis interviewed me on Between Two Ferns. we hope to start pre-production, when I arrive in LA on Friday.

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3 Responses to “Between Two Ferns”

  1. ClintJCL Says:

    This shit was HILARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIOUS

  2. 20100425 – The Church concert at State Theatre – 1 – GEDC1937 – art, shirt, cd, autographed programs - Music Program Says:

    […] Funny random thing: The stage had 2 plants on the sides, just like Zack Galafianakis’s "Between Two Ferns" web […]

  3. VIDEO: List of TV shows watched in 2010 « Clint's blog Says:

    […] Zach Galafianakis: Between Two Ferns – OH MY GOD these are maybe the funniest thing he’s ever done! 5/5 stars, […]

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