“Happy Birthday, Fucker!” Shirt Unintentionally Worn To Birthday Party

never underestimate the comedic value of an expletive-laced shirt you bought at a Faith No More show. I knew I was going to a party, but I had no idea it was for someone’s birthday (it was actually two people’s birthdays) come to think of it, what more appropriate time to wear a shirt like this, than at someone’s birthday party. it’s the kinda shirt that lets ppl know you appreciate the musical stylings of Faith No More, and the vulgarity on the front, makes for a great conversation starter.

“excuse me, sir, but it appears as tho u have the F-bomb written on your shirt? how droll!”
“that’s how I roll, baby! wanna come back to my place, and take a look at my Mike Patton etchings?”

the shirt was met with favourable responses, and provided a much-needed segue in to long-winded stories about my recent trip to California.

“do u know Derek Waters? b/c I know a guy who knows him.”
“I once pitched a script to a coupla inebriated hot chicks at this bar called The Woods, u ever been there?”
“I was thinking about moving to Santa Monica to become the world’s greatest homeless stand-up comedian.”
“we must’ve circled the block three or four times, but never found 4306 Melrose.”
“the cost of living in San Francisco is ridiculous! all the bondage models I know, commute in from Oakland.”
“…and so that’s when she said, that’s not an Ocarina, u jackass! u passed out with my diaphragm in your mouth!”

a conversation I was having about the upcoming NFL draft, was derailed, when I heard some gal drop my favourite four letter word…ANAL! as expected, within seconds, there was a swarm of partygoers hanging on her every word. u find a hot chick at a party who loves anal sex, and doesn’t mind talking about it, u stick with her for the rest of the nite. guaranteed awesomeness!!!

I overheard someone talking about Cannibal Corpse, and asked if anyone was going to their show this Friday. I also mentioned that 1349 was on the bill. a guy said his buddy had seen 1349 once before…and they sounded terrible! was it b/c of their thick Norwegian accents? was it the soundboard? did they make the mistake of playing at Rams Head? oh well…

I’m still stuffed from all the food I ate: chips with salsa and hummus, sandwich wrap rolls, sausage, cake, vanilla chocolate & cranberry raisin cookies. I wanted to stop, but I couldn’t. everything was just so fucking delicious (esp. the sandwich wrap rolls) I was eating right up until about 15 minutes before I finally passed out (which was sometime between 2-3 AM)

there was a spot of douchebaggery, as one of the neighbours came over to complain about the noise, and then called the cops. all of this took place before midnite. a random survey of partygoers revealed that there wasn’t a noticeable change in the volume before and after.

A FIVE-STAR PARTY!

my full review of Faith No More’s gig at The Warfield on April 12 will be up tomorrow…

FNM

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2 Responses to ““Happy Birthday, Fucker!” Shirt Unintentionally Worn To Birthday Party”

  1. Clint Says:

    I think you passed out closer to 4AM. Good times! Too bad we didn’t stream more video.. that crap killed Carolyn’s battery!

  2. links for 2010-04-19 « Clint’s Test Blog Says:

    […] JOURNAL: “Happy Birthday, Fucker!” Shirt Unintentionally Worn To Birthday Party « My Stupid Blo… John The Canadien's review of Nicole's birthday party from this weekend. (tags: personal journal parties GregZ NicoleZ JohnTheCanadien blog posts) […]

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