Conversations With Percival Handfisher Vol. I

recently, Percival Handfisher sat down in front of his desktop computer to record a series of pointless imaginary conversations he engaged himself in, covering a wide variety of topics. the following is an excerpt of one such conversation he had about a failed attempt to watch several television programmes.

JCL: “so Percy, how was your weekend?”
PH: “it was good, I went over to me best male mates house, then we went camping.”
JCL: “wait, wait, your best male mate?”
PH: “that’s right. somebody on flickr saw a picture of us and added it to a group called best male mates.”
JCL: “wow, it’s incredible what they’ll come up with on the internet.”
PH: “I guess so, but really, who am I to argue with that kind of logic?”
JCL: “so then what did you do when you got there?”
PH: “we watched a few shows, had a few drinks, the usual sort of hangout stuff.”
JCL: “and what did u watch?”
PH: “aqua teen, tim & eric, simpsons, ugly americans. I started to nod off towards the end. that’s where I dropped the ball, b/c we watched tim & eric first, which I was so adamant about, and that turned out to be the funniest thing we watched all night.”
JCL: “so in essence, would you say programming isn’t your strong suit? I mean, if you were interviewing for a job in television, and they’d ask if you were any good at programming, you’d say no, b/c you watch the funniest stuff first, and then you pass out.”
PH: “there’s a lot of factors that go in to me passing out. I’d been up since 8, and we were drinking bottom shelf vodka, what do you expect?”
JCL: “and what kind of guest are you that passes out in the middle of hanging out with your best male mate?”
PH: “I’m not trying to justify my alcoholism, I’m simply saying that’s usually what happens when you hang out with me.”
JCL: “well, I thank you for the information so I can plan accordingly. for my next party, I’ll hafta tell all my other guests, oh by the way, Percy’s going to be there, so we’ll need to keep the noise to a bare minimum after 11, b/c that’s usually when he starts to fall asleep.”
PH: “it was more like 1, but yeah, I suppose I don’t like too much noise when I’m trying to fall asleep. so maybe that would be a good disclaimer to throw out there.”
JCL: “AHAHAHA, no I don’t think so.”

Karl Pilkington

One Response to “Conversations With Percival Handfisher Vol. I”

  1. ClintJCL Says:

    Ahahahah.. you kill me, man.

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