Local Feline Irate Over Loss Of Kneading Sweater

agents for Oranjello Tubbs are demanding their client be traded after his owners removed his favourite kneading sweater during a routine housecleaning exercise last week. Tubbs was recently placed on 90-day probation after he allegedly knocked out a pane of glass in the laundry room. the two incidents are unrelated.

representatives for Oranjello’s owners defended their actions by stating “we feel as tho Mr. Tubbs relationship with that sweater had run it’s course. he used to enjoy kneading when we would have company over, but lately, it’s just been pretty sad to watch. I mean seriously, who’s he trying to impress?”

cat kneading expert, Ronald von Monoldburg, had Tubbs listed at #6 on his draft prospect chart in 2008 and once described his skills as “like watching Picasso paint a masterpiece. when Tubbs is in the zone, he’s an absolute joy to watch.”

Mr. Tubbs came highly recommended following his appearance on America’s Next Top House Pet, where he eventually lost out to a chain-smoking cockatoo, who works as a blackjack dealer in Vegas.

Oranjello is currently in the second year of a three-year deal, but does have the ability to opt out of his contract, at the end of 2010. his owners were quick to dismiss any rumours of a possible trade, by saying “our other cat is a complete fucking idiot! there is no way we would trade Tubbs, unless we could work a package deal for both of them.” Tubbs later confirmed the other cat in question, is indeed, a complete waste of space.

for now, Oranjello vows to keep trying to escape out the front door, in hopes he can pitch his life story as a movie starring the voice of Rob Schneider. either that, or become the dinner for some sort of possum-like creature, possibly a possum.

more on this story as it develops…

kneading

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4 Responses to “Local Feline Irate Over Loss Of Kneading Sweater”

  1. Clint Says:

    bwahahahhaha ha ha hahahahahahahaha hoo man funny 🙂

    Here is a vid & 2 pics of Oranjello kneading:
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/clintjcl/tags/kneading

    The pane was in our living room, not our laundry room. Carolyn still needs to fix it!

    And thankfully.. I haven’t had to see another feline erection again.

  2. Carolyn Says:

    Oranjello hasn’t seemed to miss the sweater that much… though he did seem to be looking around a bit on that chair last night…

    Poor Lemonjello!!! I’m the only one who likes him.

  3. links for 2010-06-03 « Clint’s Test Blog Says:

    […] PERSONAL: CATS: Local Feline Irate Over Loss Of Kneading Sweater « My Stupid Blog Well, we too away Oranjello's kneading sweater, after seeing way too many kitty boners. Here's John The Canadien's hilarious blogpost loosely based on our experiences. (tags: comedy JohnTheCanadien blog posts personal pets animals cats Oranjello kneading sweater) […]

  4. phil Says:

    Cat’s are God’s solution for people who unfortunately find themselves alone in life.

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