Mondays With Persie

comedy writing partners, Wrath von MagicMist and Persie Handfisher, sat down for a series of pointless conversations. in tonite’s episode, they discuss Persie’s new facial hair configuration, his affinity for Scandinavian black metal, and his follies at a tasting party…

Wrath: I’m Wrath von MagicMist, along with Persie Handfisher
Persie: hello
Wrath: first things first, what do you call that mess you’ve got growing on your chin?
Persie: what, you don’t care for it?
Wrath: no, not at all, unless you were going for the brillo pad look.
Persie: I thought it might be a nice change of pace. I shaved my moustache, but letting the beard stubble grow.
Wrath: and I’m sure it’s a huge hit with the ladies
Persie: well, I did have a woman come up to me the other day and ask if I could help her raise a barn
Wrath: BWAHA, raise a barn?!? she must’ve thought you were Amish. is that honestly the kind of response you are looking for?
Persie: nothing against the Amish, but I am going for more of a Scandinavian look
Wrath: oh, dear lord, are we back on your fascination with 1349? what on Earth makes you so fond of them?
Persie: I think their drummer is pretty good
Wrath: just because he can play 1000 beats a minute, doesn’t make him a good drummer
Persie: I don’t see why not, it’s not like he can’t play something slower or more complex. you seemed to like some of their lyrics
Wrath: yeah, you asked me about one lyric in particular. it doesn’t mean that I think they’re a good band, or that I would even listen to them
Persie: so does that mean we won’t be dressing up like members of the band for Halloween?
Wrath: HAHAHA, NO!!! next topic…I understand you recently went to a tasting party?
Persie: yes, I did
Wrath: and apparently you had a few drinks before you got there?
Persie: yeah, I had two 20 oz. mugs of ale, and a shot of Crown Royal
Wrath: for fuck sake, did you even realize what you were going to be doing that nite?
Persie: I must plead ignorance on that, I had no idea what a tasting party was
Wrath: obviously, b/c you didn’t even bother to bring anything to taste?
Persie: I tried to piggyback off what my friend brought
Wrath: and I’m sure he appreciated that. so how did the tasting go?
Persie: there were somewhere around 24 various bottles to choose from. I only made it thru about 3/4 of them. they asked us to rate each one, and then write a snarky comment
Wrath: let’s start with the ones you thought tasted good…
Persie: uhh, I don’t know, there was one that I described as tasting like German self-censorship
Wrath: WOW! what the fuck does that even mean?
Persie: I don’t know that one either. I wasn’t really working with my “A” material that nite.
Wrath: but you thought it was one of the better tasting libations?
Persie: yeah, I suppose
Wrath: and how about the ones you didn’t like?
Persie: I was none too fond of #15, it tasted like cigarettes and beef jerky
Wrath: fair enough. and so at a tasting party, you generally take a sip…
Persie: I don’t agree with that policy. if I’m to make a rational, well thought out assessment of something I’ve never tasted before, I need at least a quarter cup.
Wrath: no wonder you couldn’t make it to the end. you do realize this was all in fun? which is why they asked you to make snarky comments about the drinks
Persie: in my defence, I don’t know what snarky means
Wrath: what do you think it could mean other than funny, sharp-tongued, maybe a bit witty
Persie: you don’t know that! it could be a snotty remark made by a shark. how am I to assume either way?
Wrath: semantics aside, I heard you fell asleep at the party
Persie: I prefer to call it a catnap, it felt like 30 minutes…
Wrath: when in reality, you were asleep for 3 hours!
Persie: the important thing is I was awake for the tasting part, and the part where they read the feedback
Wrath: yes, but isn’t the other half of that equation simply socializing with your fellow partygoers
Persie: I sat down on the couch, and took a quick breather. I just figured someone would wake me up if something interesting was going down
Wrath: I’m sure they’d say hey, let’s wake Persie up, there’s a game of Rock Band he might want to join in on
Persie: to be honest, I’m not very well-coordinated, so I probably wouldn’t want to join in on something like that, but I wouldn’t mind watching
Wrath: ok, whatever! but we’re hearing now that there are pictures of you with other ppl while you were passed out at this party
Persie: yes, most ppl would probably rather be around me when I’m passed out, than when I’m awake. we call this the “Weekend at Bernie’s” phenomenon
Wrath: and cue the sad trombone sound effect. WAA WAA WAAAAAA!
Persie: …

Ricky Gervais


2 Responses to “Mondays With Persie”

  1. Clint Says:


  2. Carolyn Says:

    It was #14 that tasted like bandaids. And I ended up tasting that crap twice because someone moved it from the dining room to the living room.. Disgusting.

    I had to give #7 another chance because I had drank it right after the first #14, so I thought maybe my opinion was affected.

    Parthena had #14 as “Smooth” But then later she realized she had it confused with something else.

    And #19 and #20 were the first and 3rd best winners… and they turned out to be the same beer. Someone double-bagged! 🙂

    Good times.

    Oh, and “Weekend at Bernie’s phenomenom” is funny.

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