Cena: Free Or Fired…Oh, Fuck It!

I would’ve had an uber-awesome column about last nite’s battle for AFC supremacy between the Patriots and Jets! but since the Jets were getting their O-ring blown out like Amy Ried got her O-ring blown out by Erik Everhard in 2005’s anal masterpiece, “O-Ring Blowout” I spent most of the evening watching wrasslin’

the show opened with Cole and Lawler picking up from last week. Cole blathers on about how much he loves The Miz, and he is sorry for costing Lawler his shot at the title, but quickly changes his tune, and demands an apology from Lawler. Orton comes out to issue a challenge to Miz. Miz responds by saying he doesn’t hafta defend his title until TLC. Alex Riley steps in and challenges Orton to a match. Orton accepts, and ends the segment by giving Michael Cole an RKO. Cole was replaced by Josh Matthews on play-by-play, for the rest of the show. this was probably an audition for Matthews to see if he could replace WWE’s version of Mike Tenay (aka Todd Grisham) on Smackdown.

I was never much of a CM Punk fan while he was wrasslin’. but I have a newfound appreciation for him, since he’s joined the announce team, while he recovers from a hip injury. Punk’s commentary was spot-on the entire nite, confounding his broadcast colleagues on more than one occasion (ie his reference to an Usos-Bellas mixed tag match, during the tag team elimination match)

Sheamus had his official coronation as king of the ring. generally speaking, king of the ring is used to elevate a mid-carder. since he already has two reigns as world champion, I’m not sure why they decided to make him the king. John Morrison came out to interrupt, making note of the fact that their series is even at 1-1. this will probably end up being another match at TLC.

the Nexus-Cena angle is reaching critical mass. nobody bought the whole Cena being fired bit, but seeing him on tv every week, after giving that farewell speech on RAW two weeks ago, detracts from the overall impact of the storyline. his constant attacks on the Nexus have lead them to give Barrett the ultimatum of reinstating Cena next week, which will be followed by a match between him and Cena at TLC.

as for the actual wrasslin’
Daniel Bryan and Brie Bella d. Ted Dibiase, Jr. and Maryse – they did the old twin switcheroo when the ref was distracted. Nikki replaced Brie, and pinned Maryse with a small package.
Tyson Kidd d. David Hart Smith – great job by WWE creative to split these two guys up. could the audience possibly give a fuck any less about either one of them? Jackson Andrews was at ringside, supporting Kidd. this guy is 6’8″ 300 lbs. and could be the next Diesel…
Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov d. Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater (c), Mark Henry and Yoshi Tatsu, and the Usos – new tag team champs. Cena came in and distracted Gabriel, who was then hit with the Cobra by Santino, for the win.
Natalya (c) d. Melina – LayCool (who were yakkin’ on commentary during the match) attacked Natalya in the ring after the match. camera panned to Melina, who was headed back to the locker room. Lawler opined whether Melina was supposed to come in for the save.
Randy Orton d. Alex Riley – Miz interfered by attacking Orton, announced the stipulation for their match at TLC would be a Tables match. Orton chased Miz to the ramp, and then powerbombed Riley thru a table…

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