Hipsterscum Declares Jazz OK To Listen To

I heard Voivod’s “Cosmic Conspiracy” again last nite. I don’t listen to them very often, but that song alone, may be enough for me to add them to my heavy rotation. Ween’s “Gabrielle” played. I didn’t recognize it at first, b/c I was trying to listen to two other conversations at the same time. Hipsterscum noted that this was Ween’s homage to Thin Lizzy. we also heard an early version of “Moving Away” that Wrath said sounded better than the version that appears on The Pod. seeing as how it is the holiday season, there was plenty of Chrimbus music on the playlist. there was a groovy Charlie Brown song called “My Little Drum” which prompted Hipsterscum to profess his affinity for jazz.

there was brief talk of Miley Cyrus doing bong hits of salvia. we spent a few minutes coming up with our own tabloid headlines. most of which, included some sort of reference to father, Billy Ray’s, smash-hit “Achy Breaky Heart” I’m looking at you, New York Post!

there was a pencil trick which mesmerized audience members for a good half hour. you clap your hands together, and hold a pencil across the ridges between the thumbs and index fingers, and rotating your hands in opposite directions, where they reverse positions, while maintaining control of the pencil. that’s probably not a very accurate description, but every time Hipsterscum claimed to have perfected it, he jinxed himself. then, when he offered to trade seats with Storm von MagicMist, she replied “oh sure, right when I’m about to do the pencil!” now, that’s what I call improv comedy!

there was also an epic battle involving a cardboard tube between Wrath and Hipsterscum. Hipsterscum began the assault, but the tube broke in half. a few minutes of back-and-forth fencing ensued, where both men showcased a wide variety of offensive moves. Hipsterscum eventually stole Wrath’s half of the cardboard tube, and beat him mercilessly with both halves, to claim total victory.

there had been some speculation whether this battle stemmed from an incident earlier in the evening. Hipsterscum laid claim to a Peanut Butter granola bar, but had to settle for Dark Chocolate Cherry, when Wrath snatched the granola bar, out of my clutches, with help from a pair of tongs. this will all be covered in our forthcoming documentary “Saved By The Tongs”

watched the Tim & Eric Chrimbus Special again. even better the second time around! the Chrimbus Carol storyline was fucking hilarious (despite what Hipsterscum would have you believe) they reference a DL Hart song, during the restaurant scene. “I love her to bits, I wanna kiss her on the lips.” the Tairy Greene sketch was another gem! would love to see a one-and-done spin-off episode devoted entirely to Tairy Greene trailers “The Snuggler”, “C-Men Studies: Fort Lauderdale”, “The Hoses”, you name it. Zach Galafianakis is fucking brilliant!

I was chatting it up with Hipsterscum about Richard Marx (I can’t remember exactly how that conversation got started) I mentioned that he did a song on a season 5 episode (Greene Machine) of Tim & Eric for “Little Danson Man”, a movie starring Ted Danson. in the Tairy Greene Chrimbus sketch, there is a poster for “Little Dancing Man” (which Marx also does a song for), hanging in the background.

as seen on this blog, from earlier in the week, I gave the Tim & Eric Chrimbus Special, a 9 out of 10!


the Simpsons Christmas Special – each character (sans Homer) has a Christmas eve dream sequence…Bart takes a ride with Otto on The Polar Express, which is powered by marijuana…Marge gets help for the holidays, from Martha Stewart…Lisa has an Inglorious Basterds inspired dream, where Marge assassinates Hitler…Maggie dreams the Simpsons are Muppets, with special guest Katy Perry. btw, does anyone know if it’s written into Katy’s contract, that she appear in something that exposes as much cleavage as possible? I became momentarily entranced by her heaving bosoms, that were peaking out underneath a low-cut and very tight red leather dress, that had all the Simpsons faces on it. not to mention, when puppet Moe is kissing Katy Perry’s belly button, and she says “that’s not my belly button. but I didn’t say stop.” after watching the episode, we came to the conclusion that this was some of the weirdest stuff the Simpsons has ever done.

Katy Perry

The Office – two-part Christmas episode…Toby gets called for jury duty, and Holly comes back to Scranton. Michael gets all excited, only to find out that she’s living with one of the doctor’s from Childrens Hospital. Dwight and Jim engage in a snowball feud.

American Dad – Stan gets called in for jury duty, where one of Roger’s aliases is on trial. Jeff’s compulsive masturbating irritates Francine. first episode I can remember where Claus might have had more on-screen time than Steve.

we had two shows that referenced guillotines and decapitations (The Simpsons and Tim & Eric) and two shows that referenced jury duty (The Office and American Dad)

it was nice to have a Friday nite, where I didn’t work until 10 PM or later. we musta came up with about 5 or 6 ideas for [adult swim] shows. some of which, I may expound upon in further detail, once I flesh out storylines…

keeping with the recent theme of Katy Perry and Megadeth, here’s Katy Perry singing about wanting to check out guys junk, to the tune of Megadeth’s “Symphony of Destruction” for a mash-up, this gets my highest rating of “TOLERABLE”


5 Responses to “Hipsterscum Declares Jazz OK To Listen To”

  1. Clint Says:

    Great summary, man. Plus it included some stuff I missed the first time around 🙂

  2. Clint Says:

    Also, while Cosmic Conspiracy is a great song, and is the most noticeable and catchy song on their 1995 Negatron album…

    It tends to, objectively, sound more like a song landing somewhere between Kreator and Ministry than what I traditionally consider to be a Voivod song.

    However, Voivod has a lot of different sounds. Their earlier stuff might in actuality be closer to super-early Kreator than to either Ministry OR the Voivod sound that I typically think of.

    Which is the sound from their The Unknown Knows album. That’s the only one I’ve listened to for 20 yrs; it seems to be the quirkiest, most unique one, with the most variance between songs, and the most adventurousness outside of thrash metal and into the more prog(?) metal area.

    But Cosmic Conspiracy fucking rules.

    • celticfrostedflakes Says:

      I think the reason why I like “Cosmic Conspiracy” so much is b/c the opening riff reminds me of Theatre of Tragedy “Cheerful Dirge”

      • Clint Says:

        Yes! I have actually commented (and maybe tweeted) before that I hadn’t realized it was possible to mistake a Voivod song as a Theatre Of Tragedy song.

        Yup, here it is. August 19th:

  3. Clint Says:

    And RE: 2 shows that had guillotines — we had just finished watching Curdled (1996), which was an Amelie-like movie about a girl who’s obsession was, instead of photobooth photos [like in Amelie], about decapitation, and finding out if a head really talks after it’s decapitated. So it was actually one of the rare TRIPLE ITEM, SINGLE TYPE COINCIDENCES of the year.

    I’ve only had 2 of those this year. And in the other one, real life was one of the 3 items, so it’s not quite as impressive as having 3 show/movies make up the 3 items.

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