lead singer of GWAR, Oderus Urungus, announced today that he was starting his own day to counter Earth Day. This Toilet Earth Day, is used not just as a way to promote GWAR’S seminal masterpiece, 1994’s This Toilet Earth, but also as a way to say “fuck you!” to Mother Earth.
I was dumping my used motor oil down the storm drain, when some filthy hippie started harassing me about it. he was all like “you can’t do that, that stuff goes right back into the water supply.” I knew there had to be a better way. so I fuckin’ poured the rest of the motor oil down his throat, and watched him shit out his innards. I strangled him with his lower intestine, decapitated him with my mighty cuttlefish of cthlhu, then hollowed out his skull, for smoking crack. his girlfriend showed up, and got all mad at me. I fuckin’ skullfucked her with a piece of frozen shit. then, I bent her over, and fucked her in the ass, until it was rimless. now, she’s gotta walk around with a bucket attached to her fuckin’ ankles!
GWAR’s manager, Sleazy P. Martini, later apologized for the incident, offering the woman a job in their highly-touted Slave Pit internship program, where she can receive 3.0 hours college credit.
in addition to the tip on proper motor oil disposal, Oderus suggested everyone leave all their lights on 24/7, convert all hybrid cars and their owners into methamphetamines, and don’t bother recycling, b/c no one wants to use your second hand shit.