Local Idiot Disappointed That The Cars Didn’t Play Any Songs About Actual Cars

PERSIE: “hey Carl, how goes it?”
CARL: “what? what do you want?”
P: “I heard you were at The Cars show last nite.”
C: “oh yeah, who told you that?”
P: “I read it on your twitter account.”
C: “oh yeah, man, you totally missed it!”
P: “The Cars had so many great hits, Magic.”
C: ” uh huh”
P: “Shake It Up.”
C: “yeah, sure.”
P: “Good Times Roll.”
C: “ok”
P: “Just What I Needed.”
C: “hehe, I got just what you need right here. he’s called Carl, Jr. I keep him in my sweatpants.”
P: “My Best Friend’s Girl”
C: “who, Janice? man, I’ve been on the outs with her, since that time I asked her for a handjob at the Krokus show in 83, good times!”
P: “no, My Best Friend’s Girl is a Cars song.”
C: “really, are you sure about that?”
P: “wait a minute, did you even go to the show?”
C: “sure I did, and they didn’t play one song about cars, or driving, or nothing like that.”
P: “so you’re not even familiar with The Cars or any of their songs?”
C: “obviously, I guess not, are you friggin’ happy now?”
P: “but Carl, then why did you go to the show?”
C: “oh, I dunno, maybe b/c my cousin Francis, made a big deal about The Cars reunion and he was all like dude, you gotta go. and I was like, sure why not. a band named The Cars, must have some pretty bitchin’ songs about cars. you would think they would at least play Cars, b/c that’s where they got their name from, right?”
P: “no, I’m not sure it happened like that. besides, Cars is a Gary Numan song.”
C: “how about Cool Place To Park?”
P: “nope, that’s GWAR.”
C: “Radar Love?”
P: “that’s Golden Earring.”
C: “I Can’t Drive 55?”
P: “that’s Sammy Hagar.”
C: “yeah, he totally ruined Van Halen, but I mean, if I heard that song on the radio, I wouldn’t change the station. that’s partly b/c the dial on my car radio broke off, so all I get now is the classic rock station.”
P: “well Carl, thanks for the review of last nite’s show. I don’t even know why we pay you.”
C: “your mom sure knows why, hehehe, JACKPOT!”

Carl

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