Unsuccessfully Coping With The Natural Beauty of Zombification Thru Brain-Eating

Brains for dinner
Brains for lunch
Brains for breakfast
Brains for brunch
Brains at every single meal
Why can’t we have some guts

the year is 1985: America braces for another four years of Reaganomics, thrash metal has hit it’s stride, the NES is released in North America, and a young comedian named Joe Piscopo, taught us all how to laugh.

that year also brought the movie The Return of the Living Dead. a movie that was not a sequel to George Romero’s Night of the Living Dead, but instead told the story as if Romero’s classic was based on true events. it’s the weekend of July 4, 1984, and the work day is coming to a close at a medical supply warehouse. it’s young Freddy’s first day on the job, and his boss asks him if he’s ever seen Night of the Living Dead. he tells Freddy that the military is storing the corpses in the basement. they go to check one out, but the storage tank leaks a noxious gas in the air, which causes a corpse to come back to life. following a brief struggle, they decapitate the corpse, and head across the street to the mortuary, to dispose of the body. they incinerate the body, which releases more toxins into the air. a storm pushes thru, washing all the chemicals back into the ground, causing the corpses at the neighboring graveyard to come back to life. Freddy’s friends just happen to be partying at the graveyard, while they wait for him to get off work. zombies don’t eat humans, just the brains, in order to cope with the pain of being dead. there’s a paramedic who gets gang-tackled by a group of zombies. seriously, I know it’s just a movie, but that looked like it fuckin’ hurt! as unrealistic as a zombie outbreak is, this is a pretty realistic assessment of what would happen if one were to occur. how do u kill something that’s already dead? it’s not a bad question, Burt! u can’t, and in the end, everyone dies.

Miguel A. Nunez is the only actor I recognized (Juwanna Mann, Black Dynamite) The Return of the Living Dead is considered to be a cult classic, grossing $14 million on a budget of $4 million.

following in the footsteps of Dark Side of the Moon and The Wizard of Oz, The Return of the Living Dead syncs up with Apocalyptica’s Inquisition Symphony album. b/c horror movies and string orchestra instrumental albums of Metallica covers go together like peanut butter and jelly. oh, it’s true, it’s damn true!

this movie is notable to me, b/c there is a song off the Fecal Eater compilation that contains a soundbite. it’s by a band called Troglodyte, and the name of the song is Evil From the Graveyard. I put the song on my own personal mix entitled The Best of Fecal Eater Vol. 3. sorry, u can’t find it in stores.

netflix: 5/5
imdb: 10/10

Living Dead
“I can feel myself rotted!”


2 Responses to “Unsuccessfully Coping With The Natural Beauty of Zombification Thru Brain-Eating”

  1. Clint Says:

    I didn’t like how the zombies could talk…

  2. celticfrostedflakes Says:

    I prefer slow-moving zombies. they’re gonna kill u anyways, so what’s the rush?

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