Black & Huge


oh, ppl! ppl, no! I’m talking about my new refrigerator! what did u think I was talking about? a few weeks ago, the compressor started making all kinds of noises, every time I would open or close the door. like a senior citizen trying to catch their breath, after a hotly-contested game of shuffleboard. I ain’t gotta be no fancy rocket scientist to reckon something like that is best to be replaced, rather than paying for parts and labour to fix it. it’s a Frigidaire, it keeps my drinks cold, has an ice maker, and enjoys stamp collecting in it’s spare time.

Dick Dietrick

on a completely unrelated note, I had a dream last nite that I was at a Slayer show, but I wasn’t. Kerry King and Jeff Hannemann were on-stage playing with Danny McBride (who had an acoustic guitar) they were playing some sort of cross between soft rock and country. at one point, Danny came over to me, and asked what I thought of the show. I told him it was ok. I asked him where Tom Araya was, and he laughed at me. I glanced at the stage, and Kerry gave me the thumbs-down. I was unable to find out whether he directed this at me personally, or if he was simply belabouring the current state of the band. Danny asked me if I had any requests, and I thought to say Motorbreath, but for whatever reason, I didn’t say anything. the ride home was pretty weird. it was like I was traveling thru the 8-bit NES game, Rad Racer. a lot of hair-pin turns, traffic to avoid, and the landscapes changed every few seconds. one minute we’re driving down the highway in broad daylight, the next, we were going down some back country roads at dusk. and that’s why I’ll never watch anything with Aziz Ansari in it A-GAIN…


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