I Attempt To Envisualize What hipsterscum Would Say About The Upcoming Lou Reed/Metallica Collaboration

on Metallica:
“yeah, ya know. I was never really a fan of their stuff. I mean, don’t get me wrong, they had some really good stuff in the ’80s, particularly with Cliff Burton. I think my favourite album of theirs was Ride The Lightning. no one would ever accuse James Hetfield of being able to carry a tune. I dunno man, I kinda think that Megadeth has a better overall body of work, even tho I don’t really listen to them, either.”

on Lou Reed:
“his stuff with The Velvet Underground was just fucking phenomenal, particularly the album they did with Nico, in 1967. his solo stuff was pretty good too, altho the stuff from the 70s is the best. of course everyone remembers the song “Walk On The Wild Side” b/c Marky Mark covered it in like ’91, right? yeah.”

on the thought of Lou Reed collaborating with Metallica:
“oh, Jesus! that sounds like a terrible idea. I don’t even know why they would want to make an album together. I mean, it’s pretty much like apples and oranges. I’d be willing to give it a listen, but I’m not overly optimistic. I don’t envy myself, having to rate this album on rateyourmusic, but I’d probably give it a 2.”

IGRO resident music expert, hipsterscum, was the man who first clued us on this potential auditory abortion. a website for the album went up last week. the following is from the homepage:

The musical collaboration between Lou Reed and Metallica, “Lulu,” is coming your way this Fall and this space will be your spot for all things Loutallica(!). We want to start sharing with you just how the “Lulu” project, recorded at HQ just a few short months ago, is coming together. As you can see this site is a work in progress and the plan is to build it before your very eyes. Please bear with us while we piece it all together!

“Lulu” was inspired by German expressionist writer Frank Wedekind’s plays “Earth Spirit” and “Pandora’s Box,” which tell a story of a young abused dancer’s life and relationships and are now collectively known as the “Lulu Plays.” Since their publication in the early 1900’s, the plays have been the inspiration for a silent film (“Pandora’s Box,” 1929), an opera, and countless other creative endeavors. Originally the lyrics and musical landscape were sketched out by Lou for a theatrical production in Berlin, but after coming together with the ‘Tallica boys for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame concerts in New York in 2009 all guilty parties knew they wanted to make more music together. Lou was inspired enough by that performance to recently ask the band to join him in taking his theatrical “Lulu” piece to the next level and so starting in early May of this year we were all camped out recording at HQ studios in Northern California, bringing us to today and ten complete songs.

We can’t wait to share this music and the whole experience with you. Please visit us often… we’ll be posting updates on a frequent basis.

as of this pressing, there are four of ten tracks officially announced:
Junior Dad, Little Dog, Mistress Dread, and Pumping Blood

more on this story, if there’s nothing better to write about…

Hetfield
James Hetfield watches as Lou Reed forgets the lyrics to “Enter Sandman”

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