Because 72 Days Is An Awfully Long Time To Be Married

the sham that was the farce that was the publicity stunt that was the made-for-TV special that was Kim Kardashian’s marriage, has ended in divorce. it was your typical July-October romance. does anyone know who Kris Humphries is? did anyone know that he played in the NBA? does anyone even know what team he plays for? it doesn’t matter, he’ll be immortalized as the answer to some question you’ll find in Trivial Pursuit: the dude who married that chick who was only famous b/c she made a sex tape with Brandy’s brother?

I will say to Kim, keep doin’ your thang gurl! if ppl are that hard-pressed that they find it necessary to tune in to your life/show, so they can complain about it, rather than just ignoring you, then more power to ya! I also heard that Kim enjoys anal sex, so u know, I’m just sayin’ I’m available for all your salad-tossing needs. I usually like to bring my own condiments.

in other useless celebrity news, Justin Bieber is being asked to take a paternity test by a 20 year-old California woman, to determine whether he fathered her 3-month old son. since Bieber is still considered a minor (17) can he countersue her for rape? and that is why they should teach sodomy as an effective form of birth control. if they didn’t intend for u to use the butthole for inserting fingers, tongues, penises, dildos, wine bottles, or small animals into it, they would’ve made u shit thru your pores, I’m just sayin’…

ODERUS URUNGUS FOR SURGEON GENERAL!!!

Kardashian

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