hipsterscum Turns In Workmanlike Effort To Successfully Derail Viewing Night

I ate Subway for dinner the other day. I got a $5 footlong meatball sub, with onions and honey mustard. I combo’d that sumbitch up, so I got me some Barq’s and Doritos. it did more to satiate my appetite than seven soft taco supremes from Taco Bell had done the previous week. I didn’t feel comfortable eating Subway at Taco Bell, so my Best Male Mate let me chill at his place, while they went to dinner. apparently, they ran into some slow help, which delayed their return.

hipsterscum arrived a short time later. he told me that Flattus Maximus (real name, Cory Smoot) of GWAR, died on the tour bus. I couldn’t believe he was only 34! they just played 9:30 club a few weeks ago. Smoot was the fifth musician to portray Flattus, having done so since 2002. lead singer, Oderus Urungus, announced they would retire Flattus, in honour of Cory. GWAR plans to finish the tour, which runs thru Nov. 27.

I chatted with hipsterscum for a bit about the new Lou Reed/Metallica collaboration. after discussing the sheer hilarity of a double album that only contains 10 songs, I admitted that only three of them were any good. he told me it was previously unreleased material, originally intended as part of a play Reed was working on. it was pretty much inconsequential whether Metallica was attached to work on the project, as any halfway decent studio musicians would’ve sufficed.

Wrath von MagicMist gave a keynote speech where he stressed patience when it came to putting new tv shows into his viewing rotation. there were like some shows that uhh, ppl were asking if he watched, and he was like “live-action 44-minute shows only make up 3% of what we watch” or some junk. when asked whether he had any plans to check out any new music, he quickly dismissed the notion saying “if I were on a desert island, I’d have enough music to last me for the next 10 years.” then ppl got drunk, and a woman wrote some stuff on an ipad. we watched some shows, but not as many as usual, mostly b/c hipsterscum was more interested in talking. pfffh, yeah talking, who would want to?

Onion News Network – The team salutes a popular newsman killed in a brothel fire; an autistic reporter covers a search-and-rescue mission involving missing hikers; a report warning parents about the dangers of Halloween trick-or-treating.

China, IL – Jason Alexander guest stars as the ghost of a dead professor, who comes out of the closet. Professor Frank must pretend to be interested in the ghost, in order to gain more recruits, and avoid having his nuts cut off.

South Park – in a parody of the Occupy Wall St. movement (huhuhuh, I said movement) Cartman feels persecuted after he is blamed for causing his school to attain a low score on a national fitness test.

hipsterscum wasn’t terribly impressed with any of the shows. he told everyone he was leaving, which didn’t actually happen until 45 minutes later. good times!

Flattus

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3 Responses to “hipsterscum Turns In Workmanlike Effort To Successfully Derail Viewing Night”

  1. Clint Says:

    BTW episode #2 of Good Vibes was wayyyyyy better than ep#1.

  2. Brittany Says:

    What do I have to do to get a cool name like hipsterscum or Wrath von MagicMist?

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