Like That Time I Tried To Pay For Sex With Unused Vacation Hours

I got a memo from work the other day, saying that they have a new vacation policy, they are rolling out on April 1. in the meantime, they are willing to buy up any unused vacation hours. seeing as how I am coming to the end of my hall-of-fame career as the world’s greatest camera salesman, I was all over this offer. yes, the devil’s advocate will say, “but Persie, if u leave, u are still entitled to those hours.” and I say they’re not stupid enough to outright fire me, b/c I haven’t done anything to warrant such action. they’ll just try to slowly phase ppl out until their employees have no option other than to quit. I’m pretty sure ppl who quit aren’t entitled to shit. so they’re gonna pay me 50% of my hourly rate (minus taxes) for the 38 hours of vacation time I’ve accrued over the last 12 months. I won’t look a gift horse in the mouth on this one. unless of course, that mouth belongs to Asa Akira, and the gift horse refers to my penis. it’s pretty much found money for me.


5 Responses to “Like That Time I Tried To Pay For Sex With Unused Vacation Hours”

  1. Clint Says:

    If you quit, you’re still entitled to your vacation days.

    • Clint Says:

      In fact, from the sound of it, if you quit, you’ll get the full value of your vacation days. They’re trying to screw you out of half of the value that you’re legally guaranteed no matter what. I’d advise against it.

  2. Carolyn Says:

    Are they hours that you’d lose when the new policy rolls out?

    • celticfrostedflakes Says:

      nope, u don’t lose hours. they’re just making it more difficult to accumulate them. I guess I’ll hold on to them. I’m figuring to be out of there by early February.

  3. chriggy Says:

    By law, VA does NOT require employers to pay out or even give vacation, though they do require them to follow their own policies. You should check your employee handbook to see what their policy is before you make a decision. If their policy says they will pay even if you quit, then they have to, if it says they don’t, then they don’t. If they don’t have a policy, consult a lawyer.

    “Fringe benefits such as vacation, sick, holiday, and severance pay are not required to be given under the law, and employers may establish any or no policy regarding these fringe benefits.”

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