Did I Hear Something About Forks?!?

I arrived at Wrath and Storm’s house to find they had just finished a hotly-contested game of Rummikub. Hipsterscum was labouring, and glad to see me, as he managed to talk them out of playing any more board games. he took no joy in eating a Hershey Sundae pie from Burger King. he said it tasted pre-packaged and there were ingredients used that were created in a lab. I haven’t been this bummed about eating a dessert since that time I ate that Boston Cream donut that was filled with vaseline.

Hipsterscum played an open mic nite somewhere in the boonies. he said something about them trying to be a family-oriented establishment, where kids can go to stay out of trouble. the place didn’t serve alcohol, but they required u to order some food, before u went on-stage. I reckon this was their version of a cover charge or two-drink minimum.

I tried to strike up a conversation with him about how Budweiser cans kinda look like Coke cans, and how Coke pulled the white cans with red lettering, b/c ppl got them confused with Diet Coke. he wasn’t too impressed with the topic at hand, so he talked about that time he bought the Metallica/Lou Reed album. this got us on the topic of whether Cliff Burton-era Metallica is better than chocolate. Wrath said Ride The Lightning is better than chocolate. I said “Escape” was my least favourite Cliff Burton-era song, and that Master of Puppets was better than chocolate. Hipsterscum was having none of it. his favourite album is Kill Em All, but said it wasn’t better than chocolate.

I preface the following show synopses by saying Hipsterscum didn’t particularly care for any of them. he watched everything except for Napolean Dynamite, and the second episode of The Life and Times of Tim. he was gracious enough to serenade us with his Alice In Chains medley, altho the guitar he was using was severely out of tune. he also tricked me into thinking he was playing Celtic Frost, but it was just the same AIC medley. he also doesn’t want me posting anymore videos of him on teh inferweb, so this may be the end of the Atheist Tambourine references. Wrath didn’t seem to mind the video, other than it was a bit disorienting, and u couldn’t hear the bass. he threw a funny Jason Newsted …AJFA joke in there for good measure.

Adventure Time
this episode reminded me alot of the Problem Solverz episode where they went on vacation and Horace kept trying to find problems to solve, only to make things unnecessarily complicated. the AT episode was set in a library. I believe Finn used the term “problem solved” or some variation thereof, during the episode. ther’s just something genuinely funny about watching a boy beat his dog with an encyclopedia, while yelling “BOOKS!” this part reminded me of the Xavier: Renegade Angel episode where the X-mang distracted ppl by getting them to chant “SPORTS!”

XianZ: +10
netflix: 5/5
imdb: 10/10

Adventure Time

Archer
there’s a group of Cuban assassins hot on Archer’s trail, but he’s much more concerned with his mother dating his boyhood idol, Burt FUCKING Reynolds. there was a scene where Archer rattles off just about every movie Burt’s been in, which reminded me of Paul Rudd’s appearance on the Delocated pilot. the driving scenes had a GTA feel to them.

XianZ: +10
netflix: 5/5
imdb: 10/10

Archer

Napolean Dynamite
2004 called, Jon Heder wants his career back, BUH HUH!!! this show is pretty much joke-free, and it’s kinda sad that they were able to get the entire cast back for the animated series. I doubt this show lasts more than 13 episodes. this is the first show to receive a negative rating on the XianZ scale.

XianZ: -8
netflix: 1/5
imdb: 1/10

The Office
I don’t watch this show with any regularity, but every time I do, it’s fuckin’ hilarious. James Spader invites the office to his mansion for one last hurrah, before he loses it to his ex-wife. best background music I’ve heard in a sitcom in a very long time.

XianZ: +10
netflix: 5/5
imdb: 10/10

Portlandia
already watched and reviewed this episode (season premiere) a coupla weeks ago.

The Life and Times of Tim
Tim’s co-workers find out he once appeared in a pudding ad as a child; Tim hires homeless ppl to drive Hugh Jackman out of his building; Rodney becomes Tim’s assistant; Tim’s boss goes to great lengths to prevent his ex-wife from taking custody of their dog.

XianZ: +7
netflix: 4/5
imdb: 8/10

we received word that Return to the Eve was able to procure autographs for us at AEE, from Asa Akira and Skin Diamond, FRITATA!!! we’ll have more on this story in the next few weeks…

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2 Responses to “Did I Hear Something About Forks?!?”

  1. LINKS: Clint’s latest links 01/24/2012 (a.m.) « Clint's blog Says:

    […] JOURNAL: HANGING OUT: Did I Hear Something About Forks?!? « My Stupid Blog […]

  2. LINKS: Weekly link summary in case you missed any of the individual posts (weekly) « Clint's blog Says:

    […] JOURNAL: HANGING OUT: Did I Hear Something About Forks?!? « My Stupid Blog […]

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