Bold Ass Royal Rumble Predictions

John Cena vs. Kane – it’s been kinda fun watching Cena “embrace the hate” over the last few weeks on RAW, as they tease a heel turn heading into his match at Mania with Rock. this match at the Rumble could end in either a no-contest or Cena getting himself DQ’d (possibly due to being overcome by the rage) I see a rematch for Elimination Chamber on the horizon.

Daniel Bryan vs. Big Show vs. Mark Henry – a triple threat match inside a steel cage featuring two monsters, and a guy who is half their size. Daniel Bryan will escape to retain the title, continuing to look as weak as possible, while still being promoted as a viable champion.

CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler – Johnny Laryngitis will be the special guest referee. a week after saying he would try and screw Punk out of the title, he reveals last nite that his job is up for review by Triple H, and that he is now going to be impartial. Punk retains.

30 Man Royal Rumble Match – after the abortion known as last year’s 40-man Rumble match, they’ve come to their senses, and gone back to the traditional 30-man match. WWE announced that any Superstar is eligible to compete, which means we could see a current world champion (CM Punk) in the match. let’s take a look at some of the favourites to win, my pick is in bold:

Randy Orton – the Rumble is in his hometown of St. Louis. he’s coming back from injury (which is slang for vacation in the Bahamas) at the hands of Wade Barrett. but Orton doesn’t need a win to put himself back into the world title picture.

Chris Jericho – after weeks of silent promos and teasing the fans to the point they would boo him, Y2J came out last nite and said “the world as we know it, would end on Sunday.” I heard someone say that Y2J would enter at #30, after 28 and 29 had eliminated each other. interesting way to end the match, and not that far-fetched, given how they’ve built his return.

Sheamus – despite not being involved in any high-profile feuds, Sheamus is getting a nice push as a monster babyface, with an impressive win streak. I don’t think there’s any imminent plans for a Sheamus world title run, but I’ll predict he will be in the final four.

Wade Barrett – flourishing as a singles competitor, since his days with Nexus/Corre. would benefit the most from a Rumble win. if Orton doesn’t eliminate him, he should win.

The Miz – what the fuck happened to this guy? a year ago, he beat Randy Orton to retain the WWE title, on his way to main-eventing WrestleMania. after losing to R-Truth last nite, he draws #1 in the Rumble. QUACK QUACK! I’ll predict The Miz lasts between 20-25 minutes.

Mick Foley – becomes the first man in Rumble match history, to wrestle and perform stand-up comedy, at the same time. I’ve never heard his material, but it can’t be any worse than the Ultimate Warrior’s roast of Zakk Wylde.



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