LIPPLES aka Life’s Ripples
the only show officially endorsed by the Witness Protection Program, returned for it’s third season premiere on Thursday nite. there’s a new Miami Vice-style opening montage. a new bodyguard named TB, a former Blackwater Ops, whose claim to fame is that he designed the human pyramid at Abu Ghraib.
the episode opens with Jon and David at their lawyer’s office, going over Susan’s will. Susan’s life insurance policy was worth $5 million, but the money is left to David. Susan leaves Jon a paper mache F-U wrapped inside a burrito, wrapped inside tin foil. Jon mistakes this for the scarf he gave her when they first started going out, and then mistakes it for the wedding ring he gave her. it made me think of the Thurrito bit from the Xavier: Renegade Angel episode “Weapons Grade Life”
the new network executive (Janeane Garofalo) is also named Susan, but Jon can’t bring himself to call her that. he comes up with several nicknames for her, which leads to some of Jon’s patented random sing-talking. Susan reminds Jon that “Susan” was the named assigned by the WPP for the show, which causes him to realize that he doesn’t remember what “Susan’s” real name was. Susan assigns Jon a life-enhancement coach to help him cope with the loss.
there is another Xavier: Renegade Angel moment between the life coach and Jon, when the life coach informs Jon that he will hafta be both mother and father to David. any Xavier fanboy will instantly flashback to the episode where he adopted those eight orphan babies in “The Sixth Teat of Good Intentions”
Jon goes to a coupla Chinamen to avenge Susan’s death. he pays them $1 million to carry out the hit, and gives them an autographed picture. after the hit is carried out, one of the Chninamen shows up at Jon’s loft, and suggests he pay them another $1 million for protection from the Mirminskys. he notices Jon’s tattoo of Susan’s vagina on his leg, which smells delicious.
Yvgeny goes to a marketing agency, for help with his career in stand-up comedy. he hooks up with an intern, but has his first time ruined, when Sergei informs him that their father was killed in prison. it is revealed at the end of the episode, that Yvgeny is the new head of the Mirminsky crime family.