Joseph Kony: The Modern-Day Gilles De Rais

ever since this Kony 2012 viral video hit youtube on Monday, I have been inundated with all these ppl pretending to be human rights activists. thank Xavier we have the cast of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, and other completely useless celebrities, lending their support to this cause, by tweeting about it. b/c it’s not really a fad, until it’s trending worldwide on twitter.

“oh, have u seen Kony 2012? no?!? well, u gotta see it! what he did to all those children is just atrocious.”

c’mon man! this is a short attention span society we live in! I don’t have time to watch a 30-minute documentary. if u can condense into a three-minute short on [adult swim], I’d be interested.

yeah, I get it! the world is full of fucked up religious zealots, who hide behind their imaginary figureheads, to satisfy their own agendas, which often times involve offences ranging from murder to pedophilia. it’s no surprise that Kony was a former altar boy. so three American filmmakers want to bring awareness to something that’s been going on for the last 30 years, and now everyone pretends to care? the counter-point to this film is that Kony and his associates have disbanded into the remote jungles, which neighbour Uganda, and have not been seen in six years. maybe Tom Warrior needs to write a song about him…

Gilles De Rais, was the 15th-century French nobleman, who was responsible for the kidnappings and murders of several hundred boys ranging in age from 6 to 18. De Rais would pamper his victims, often dressing them in better attire. he would feed them a large meal, which included heavy drinking. De Rais would then take his victim to a more secluded room, where only he and his inner circle were allowed. it was at this time, that De Rais would reveal his true intention. De Rais found the initial shock this produced upon his victim, as a source of pleasure.

De Rais would hang his victims, to prevent them from crying. he would then masturbate on their bellies or thighs, and tease that he only wanted to play with them. often times, De Rais would fuck his victims assholes until they were rimless, right before he had them killed by decapitation, dismemberment, or breaking of their necks. some of the more attractive victims, De Rais would enjoy slicing open, to view their internal organs. he also enjoyed sitting on their stomachs, and laughing, as he watched them die.

Gilles De Rais

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