Local Woman Applauds Husband’s Progress In Dwarf Fortress

the day started off innocently enough. I still had a job, it was 4 PM, and I was slightly buzzed. me and Wrath went to the TB to get some tacos. on our way, he flicked off some old dude, and on the way back he yelled at a jaywalker. I saw a Blockbuster video store, briefly thought about going in, but didn’t. I was proud of myself. some woman asked Wrath for his advice on condiments for food she didn’t buy at TB.

hipsterscum arrived on the scene, and I could see his eyes light up when I thanked him for getting me interested in The Birthday Party. we couldn’t agree on which album was their best. he likes the Mutiny/Bad Seed album, whereas I like Hee-Haw. he complimented me on the interview I wrote about him, and said he liked that Birthday Party video I posted in the write-up. and then we watched approx. six hours of shows (with minimal breaks) plenty of crossovers and movie references to be had:

Bob’s Burgers – the kids go in search of treasure in an abandoned taffy factory, but get trapped, just prior to it being demolished. the episode reminded me a little bit of The Goonies

Family Guy – Brian terrorizes Stewie with Queen’s News of the World album, which isn’t that bad, b/c it had Get Down, Make Love, on it; Chris enrolls in fat camp (fat kid from American Dad makes cameo) fat guy strangler returns (but was not voiced by Robert Downey, Jr.)

The Cleveland Show – Cleveland gets addicted to trucker’s pills, and enters rehab. Hank Hill cameo, where he admits to huffing propane. Cleveland gets angry that his family went on the Commodores solid gold cruise without him. he leaves rehab, and gets picked up by pirates, who intend to hijack the cruise.

American Dad – the Smiths become a dysfunctional mess when Roger’s therapist alter-ego, Dr. Penguin, enlists in the army.

South Park – Clyde’s mom dies on the toilet. whether or not to leave the toilet seat up becomes an issue of national security, prompting the TSA to step in. the new law requires everyone to wear a seat belt when they’re taking a dump.

Unsupervised – Gary gets a job with a landscaping company. moral of the story: whether u enjoy mowing lawns, writing comedy, or emailing pics of your semi-erect penis to porn stars, it all ends up killing u anyway. the drab color palette they use (primarily for outdoor scenes) belies the show’s dark comedy undertones.

The Simpsons – they are the 157th show to do an Inception episode. the Simpsons travel thru each other’s dreams to find out why Homer is wetting the bed.

The Office – Andy is in Tallahassee to lend Erin his shield-bearing hand so he may reign the marriage throne. meanwhile, Nellie becomes the usurper, taking over Andy’s job, winning over most of the office with promises of pay raises.

China, IL – The Dean hosts a scavenger hunt that turns into a blood-and-guts action movie, with teams of professors and students competing for a vacation to the Bahamas.

Mary Shelley’s Frankenhole – watched three episodes; Frankenstein’s creature is reunited with the ppl who he was created from; Death asks Jesus (voiced by Andy Dick) for career advice; Victor enters a time-travel Monster Rally to impress his hot piece of ass wife. the Dom DeLuise character played off a Cannonball Run theme

Archer – Katya is resurrected in robot form, but ends up getting porked by Barry. the closing scene was an homage to The Graduate. the second episode we watched was the first of a two-parter involving the members of Isis trying to prevent a disaster on the international space station. the second part (which is also the season finale) airs tomorrow.

Delocated – watched two episodes; Jon goes on a silent strike, when he finds out the network is making money using his catch phrases in music. Jon begins taking Yvgeny’s girlfriend to the bone zone
Jon holds a contest to find a new best friend; Yvgeny creates a fake facebook page to get back at Jon, but Sergei uses the fake Jon to frame the real Jon for murder.

Ugly Americans – a microscopic fugitive goes on the lam inside Twayne, which wreaks havoc on his date. this episode had kind of an Inner Space vibe to it.

I had never heard of Dwarf Fortress, but from the 5 mins. of gameplay I watched, it’s kinda like The Sims crossed with Gauntlet. u hafta build stuff, assign tasks for your workers, keep them happy enough so that they don’t turn on each other. Wrath played for another 1.5 hours after I left, felled at the hands of some rogue goblin spearmen, who walked into his fortress, unopposed.

XianZ: +8
netflix: 4/5
imdb: 9/10
this is a score for the entire nite of viewing

South Park


3 Responses to “Local Woman Applauds Husband’s Progress In Dwarf Fortress”

  1. Clint Says:

    After that, I got sick of fortress mode and started playing Dwarf Fortress in Adventure Mode, which is very much like Rogue/Nethack. We found out you can do violent things like grab someone’s arm with one hand (attack, wrestle, specify the arm to grab, specify where to grab them, VERY specific like), then grab the throat with the other, then throw them to the ground, and like gouge their eyes out and such. And this is a text-based turn-based game. But everything is modeled in total detail – i.e. if you grab someone with your right hand, his left arm will be farther away and harder to grab than if you grabbed it at first. Crazy back-end detail in that game!

  2. LINK: JOURNAL: Local Woman Applauds Husband’s Progress In Dwarf Fortress « Clint's blog Says:

    […] JOURNAL: Local Woman Applauds Husband’s Progress In Dwarf Fortress […]

  3. LINKS: Weekly link summary in case you missed any of the individual posts (weekly) « Clint's blog Says:

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