Hipsterscum Returns; Confirms Ministry Isn’t Worth Paying $60 For Tickets

it was truly a magical evening this past Friday nite when former Carnival Machine Armada bassist and longtime friend of this blog, Hipsterscum, made his triumphant return. He’s relocated closer to the action, in order to focus on his new project, Fetus Fiesta, so hopefully we’ll be seeing more of him in the coming year.

We started the nite off with a hotly-contested six-handed game of King of Tokyo. Hipsterscum won in his first try with 20 victory points. I got off to a good start with 7 energies, but was unable to use them to buy any upgrades, and eventually lost all but one of them. I hung around the game for a while, but I was too focused on trying to heal my character, when I should’ve been doing more attacking. I finished in 3rd place with 11 points.

as the group expanded, we played a game of Left, Center, Right. I finished 2nd, but it was also during this time that I heard the Minibosses covering Mega Man 2. they’re a band known for their covers of 8-bit games, and Mega Man 2’s soundtrack is one of the greatest of that era, along with Ninja Gaiden, Legend of Zelda, and Metroid. I was disappointed that it didn’t get a better reception from those in attendance, but it made my nite.

a tude brah of mine was relaying the story about how he left a trashbag full of p-pr0n over at his lady’s house, and one of the tapes happened to be Planet of the Gapes. I asked “is that Tom Byron’s Planet of the Gapes” to which he replied “of course” for those not in the know, Leonard Maltin once called Planet of the Gapes “the seminal anal fuck fest for the 20th century, single-handedly putting the term ‘prolapsed anus’ at the forefront of the America conscience.”

I discussed my brief time as the Assistant to the Regional Manager of Smut Peddling, at which time I laid out my idea for a live action My Little Pony lesbian gangbang. I had a script, backing from at least two unnamed p-pr0n b’s, and James Deen was gonna play Spike, no big whoop! since just about every other tv show has an x-rated parody, it boggles my mind that the adult industry has not done one yet. there is a market for this they are missing out on.

James Deen (middle) in his tour de force performance as Dennis Cordeluzzo in "My Husband Brought Home His Mistress 6"

James Deen (middle) in his tour de force performance as door-to-door suspenders salesman, Dennis Cordeluzzo, in “My Husband Brought Home His Mistress 6”

I had a slice of pizza from 7-11, which was much better than I thought it would be. this got me talking about last week’s pizza, which lead into a discussion about a really good burger I once ate. it’s called the Popper, contains 1/3 lb Angus Beef Patty, topped with Bacon, Fried Jalapenos, Chipotle Ketchup, and the kicker…CREAM CHEESE! I know what you’re thinking, it sounds disgusting, but believe me, it is a combination of flavours that’s tough to beat, altho I would only recommend indulging in something like this perhaps once a month.

I’ve started listening to the latter half of Ministry’s discography, in particular the last two albums. I’m only a casual fan, and some of that admiration stems from the fact that Al Jourgensen likes hockey (Blackhawks) The Mind Is A Terrible Thing To Taste and Land of Rape and Honey are the best, followed by some really solid efforts in the early to mid-90s and then just prior to their first hiatus in the mid-2000s. and lest I forget, I enjoy their first synthpop effort, With Sympathy, Arista be damned! with the passing of longtime guitarist Mike Scaccia in 2012, Al announced Ministry would no longer produce any new material, but they will be touring this year. I’d like to see them, but $60 is a bit pricey for my tastes. an impromptu survey conducted amongst partygoers seemed to confirm my theory. in the meantime, anyone who’s even remotely interested in Ministry should do themselves a favour, and check out “In Case You Didn’t Feel Like Showing Up” which is an awesome live show they filmed during the Mind tour in 89-90.

another tude brah mentioned something about Oderus Urungus being memorialized at some awards show. a popular theory amongst those who believe in the Illuminati, is that Oderus may have been sacrificed by Sleazy P. Martini, who while best known as GWAR’s “tour manager” was also the band’s handler behind the scenes. following in the footsteps of such other notable suspicious musicians deaths as Whitney Houston, Kurt Cobain, and Amy Winehouse. the other side to that coin is that when I saw GWAR in November 2013, Oderus looked like a man who was out of sorts, still deeply affected by the passing of Cory Smoot aka Flattus Maximus, in 2011. while Oderus professed to be the crack-smoking, butt-raping, interplanetary ruler we all knew and loved, Dave Brockie had been clean and sober for quite some time prior to his passing. I just can’t imagine GWAR without him, and several ppl who I’ve talked to that have seen them sans Oderus, told me it just isn’t the same. we’ll always have Scumdogs of the Universe, R.I.P. Dave

One Response to “Hipsterscum Returns; Confirms Ministry Isn’t Worth Paying $60 For Tickets”

  1. Clint Says:

    I had no clue that song would provoke such a response; it probably shouldn’t have shown up in a non-cheese playlist, hmm.

    Man, this blog got blocked at my work. And that’s the prime time I respond to things.. Grrr!

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