Archive for the ‘PS4’ Category

Kleenex, Hand Lotion, In Short Supply Following Release of DOA 5: Last Round

February 19, 2015

do you like arcade fighters? do you like women with tits the size of Ethiopia? are you looking for an alternative to Viagra? well, then you my friend, are ready to get balls deep in Dead or Alive 5: Last Round. yes, in this current transitional era of gaming, where gamers are slowly migrating from PS3/XBOX 360 to PS4/XBOX ONE, game companies are quick to milk every last dime out of their most profitable franchises. for Tecmo, it’s pretty much Ninja Gaiden, Dynasty Warriors, and Dead or Alive. they also gave us the cult classic, Deception series.

Dead or Alive 5 originally debuted on the PS3/XBOX 360 in September 2012, followed by Ultimate one year later for those same consoles. Last Round is the first in the trilogy to land on next-gen consoles. it boasts a roster of 34 characters (including 2 new ones)

Honoka – an 18 year-old Japanese schoolgirl who borrows other fighters moves, and likes to assume the doggystyle position after she is defeated.

Raidou – Ayane’s biological father, who was killed by Kasumi in the first DOA tournament. he returns as a cyborg, with no knowledge of the past.

this is just like Ultimate, with the DLC already included. there are 200 costumes available at the start, and you can unlock others via gameplay. for the most hardcore of fanboys, there are even more costumes you can buy, including a bundle worth the price of a 1-year subscription to ZZ (approx. $92) there are also movies you can purchase of the ladies of DOA frolicking in skimpy swimsuits.

the story mode is approx. 3 hours long (including cut scenes) this is like an interactive Skinemax flick. you play through as various characters with interlocking storylines. one part of the story involves fighters competing in the DOA tournament. the other part centers around the series main protagonist, Kasumi, searching for her clone. it’s fairly ridiculous, and I’ll probably never play story mode again, but there were a few genuinely funny moments. the cool thing is you can go back and watch the cut scenes you’ve unlocked.

I was never really a fan of the series, as I was already playing Mortal Kombat, Tekken, and Street Fighter, when this series got started. this is the first DOA game to appear on a Sony console since DOA 2 in 2000. full disclosure: I bought this game b/c I have a fetish for Asian women, even if they are in digital form. another factor is I was gonna buy The Order: 1886 instead, but it looks like it didn’t live up to the hype (ie not worth $60)

if nothing else, story mode got me acclimated to some of the characters movesets. I’ve spent a decent amount of time in training mode, trying to master a handful of characters. I’ve been playing arcade mode (in both solo and tag modes) and I’ve barely scratched the surface in terms of learning their moves. make no mistake about it, online play is the meat-and-potatoes of this game, but I can’t use it, b/c I’m not a PS Plus member…yet. other game modes include spectator, where aspiring porn directors can watch their favourite fighters duke it out, and capture photos of them in various suggestive positions.

on a side note, while trolling the message boards, I came across the term “gainaxing” which refers to animated breasts that jiggle independently of one another. DOA is the first series I know of that had these sort of physics, and I’m sure the developers were frothing at the mouth to try them out on the new hardware. Xavier only knows what they have planned for DOA 6, which is rumoured to be out sometime next year.

in spite of the hyper-sexualization of the female characters, this is a solid fighting game with excellent gameplay mechanics. there’s a lot of stuff to unlock thru the various modes, that you don’t hafta pay for. if you’ve already got either DOA 5 or Ultimate, then there’s really no need to pick this one up, unless you just wanna ogle the women and the new “soft skin” dynamic on the next-gen consoles.

netflix: 4/5

imdb: 8/10

Ultimate Surrender PC mod coming soon!

Ultimate Surrender PC mod coming soon!


PSN Flash Sale Yields Rayman Legends For $10

February 15, 2015

I was perusing the PS4 boards over on ye olde IGN, when I read Playstation Store is holding a flash sale this weekend. I was really hoping either GTA V or Dragon Age: Inquisition would be 50% off, but to no avail. I did however pick up Rayman Legends for $10 (75% off the regular price of $40) platformers aren’t my cup of tea, and I hadn’t played a Rayman game since Hoodlum Havoc for the GameCube in 2003. everything I read about the game was nothing but praise. I’ve put in approx. 6 hours so far, and I already feel like I’ve gotten more than my money’s worth.

Rayman is awoken from his 100-year slumber to find that his universe has been taken over by the Bubble Master’s nightmares. it’s up to Rayman and a bevy of friends to rescue all 700 Teensies, who are being held hostage, across 5 different worlds. there are approx. 1 million Lums to collect, which will unlock characters at certain milestones. depending on how many you collect from each stage, you are awarded with Bronze, Silver, or Gold Cups. stages can be unlocked once you’ve saved a specific amount of Teensies. there are also 10 princesses to save, which can then be used as playable characters. you can also earn lottery tickets which can bring bonus items such as creatures, extra Lums, and stages from Rayman Origins.

the levels are complex and very well thought out, and for someone like me, who isn’t great at these types of games, can lead you to drop the occasional “F-bomb” it’s a game that’s easy to pick up, but incredibly difficult to master. one hit, and you’re done, tho I hear they’ve placed more checkpoints in the game, than previous iterations. it seems like they only give you extra health right before you reach a particularly difficult portion of the stage. you hafta complete each stage to get full credit, and sometimes there are 3 or 4 parts. aborting a run will negate any progress made up to that point. there were several stages I spent nearly 10 minutes trying to complete, but the satisfaction you get from finishing it is right on par with blowing a huge load in Dani Daniels ass. there are a few stages that are geared toward 2 player co-op, but aren’t required. but yeah, it’s definitely the preferred way to play. plenty of times I would be focused on what Rayman was doing, that I forgot about Murfy (my assistant) causing me to drop the aforementioned “F-bomb”

this is a game you could easily get lost for hours playing, with an insane amount of depth, and so much to explore and unlock. fans of the series have no doubt already put countless hours into this title, and the consensus is that this is the best Rayman game to date. this is the best platformer I’ve played since Super Mario World on the SNES. if you’re a fan of the genre, and own a PS4, this game is a must buy! (esp. at the current sale price)

netflix: 5/5

imdb: 10/10

P.S.- yes, I am aware of all the shit gamers have given Ubisoft following the debacles that were Watch Dogs and Assassin’s Creed: Unity


State O’ Da PS4: One Moron’s Journey, Part, The 1st

February 8, 2015

it was December 14, 2013 when my PS3 kicked the bucket. I clearly remember watching a Brazzers scene (ZZ Got Back) when it abruptly cut off, and the power button turned from green to an ominous yellow. up until that point, I had been quite enjoying my PS3, and in particular, playing NHL 14.

after many months of hemming and hawing, I took the plunge, and upgraded to a PS4 in September 2014. you could call me a Sony fanboy, I’ve owned every one of their consoles (some even multiple times) since buying my first PSX in October 1998. I’ve never been a fan of XBOX mostly b/c everyone else I know already owns one, and I jumped off the Nintendo bandwagon, after the fiasco that was the GameCube.

the first three games I bought were Diablo III, The Last of Us, and Madden 15:

Diablo III – first time I had played a Diablo game since the second one for PC, in 2000. this was one I was hesitant about buying, but the clerk assured me that “even the worst Diablo player eventually reaches Level 80.” SOLD! I heard they a lot of PC gamers complain that they dumbed down the controls for consoles in order to sell more copies, and I see their point. I  put in about 50-60 hours, and ended up essentially playing thru twice, b/c I was nowhere near ready for the final boss fight, having skipped over the vast majority of side quests. when it was all said and done, I retired my Demon Hunter at Level 80, Paragon 20. Paragons are simply an extension of your character’s ability to upgrade, once they’ve reached the cap.

Madden 15 – I really had no intention of buying this game, but EA did such an unforgivably shitty job with NHL 15, that I went wth Madden, having not bought an installment in 4 years. yep, it’s football, not much you can do to change the core mechanics. the AI is better, but still not much of a challenge. I played MUT for the first time ever, and that was addictive. I won my fair share of games online, forced a rage quit here and there, and even rage quit myself a handful of times. as someone who used to collect baseball cards many moons ago, I caved and spent a coupla bucks on some of their promotional packs. when XBOX Live Marketplace and Playstation Network went down for a few days on the Christmas week, that effectively killed my interest in the game. I think my team finished with an overall 89, and the best card I was able to pull was the “Most Feared” Polamalu, who is a 90.

The Last of Us – a cross-country journey across post-apocalyptic America, filled with a requisite amount of zombies, and other mutated enemies. originally released for PS3 in June 2013, winner of multiple game of the year awards. Sony deftly followed it up with a remastered version for PS4 in July 2014, which included the PS3 DLC “Left Behind” a single-player campaign centering around Elle and her friend, Riley. it also contains commentary from the developers and cast. this game reminded me of another PS3 game I loved “Heavy Rain” in that you are essentially playing thru a movie. played mostly on rails, dialogue, puzzle-solving, and extended periods with little or no combat. I reckon I put in somewhere in the neighborhood of 20 hours (I haven’t played Left Behind) best game I’ve played so far on the system.


in my next PS4 update, I’ll share my thoughts on the apps and functions (or lack thereof)