Posts Tagged ‘DOA5’

Kleenex, Hand Lotion, In Short Supply Following Release of DOA 5: Last Round

February 19, 2015

do you like arcade fighters? do you like women with tits the size of Ethiopia? are you looking for an alternative to Viagra? well, then you my friend, are ready to get balls deep in Dead or Alive 5: Last Round. yes, in this current transitional era of gaming, where gamers are slowly migrating from PS3/XBOX 360 to PS4/XBOX ONE, game companies are quick to milk every last dime out of their most profitable franchises. for Tecmo, it’s pretty much Ninja Gaiden, Dynasty Warriors, and Dead or Alive. they also gave us the cult classic, Deception series.

Dead or Alive 5 originally debuted on the PS3/XBOX 360 in September 2012, followed by Ultimate one year later for those same consoles. Last Round is the first in the trilogy to land on next-gen consoles. it boasts a roster of 34 characters (including 2 new ones)

Honoka – an 18 year-old Japanese schoolgirl who borrows other fighters moves, and likes to assume the doggystyle position after she is defeated.

Raidou – Ayane’s biological father, who was killed by Kasumi in the first DOA tournament. he returns as a cyborg, with no knowledge of the past.

this is just like Ultimate, with the DLC already included. there are 200 costumes available at the start, and you can unlock others via gameplay. for the most hardcore of fanboys, there are even more costumes you can buy, including a bundle worth the price of a 1-year subscription to ZZ (approx. $92) there are also movies you can purchase of the ladies of DOA frolicking in skimpy swimsuits.

the story mode is approx. 3 hours long (including cut scenes) this is like an interactive Skinemax flick. you play through as various characters with interlocking storylines. one part of the story involves fighters competing in the DOA tournament. the other part centers around the series main protagonist, Kasumi, searching for her clone. it’s fairly ridiculous, and I’ll probably never play story mode again, but there were a few genuinely funny moments. the cool thing is you can go back and watch the cut scenes you’ve unlocked.

I was never really a fan of the series, as I was already playing Mortal Kombat, Tekken, and Street Fighter, when this series got started. this is the first DOA game to appear on a Sony console since DOA 2 in 2000. full disclosure: I bought this game b/c I have a fetish for Asian women, even if they are in digital form. another factor is I was gonna buy The Order: 1886 instead, but it looks like it didn’t live up to the hype (ie not worth $60)

if nothing else, story mode got me acclimated to some of the characters movesets. I’ve spent a decent amount of time in training mode, trying to master a handful of characters. I’ve been playing arcade mode (in both solo and tag modes) and I’ve barely scratched the surface in terms of learning their moves. make no mistake about it, online play is the meat-and-potatoes of this game, but I can’t use it, b/c I’m not a PS Plus member…yet. other game modes include spectator, where aspiring porn directors can watch their favourite fighters duke it out, and capture photos of them in various suggestive positions.

on a side note, while trolling the message boards, I came across the term “gainaxing” which refers to animated breasts that jiggle independently of one another. DOA is the first series I know of that had these sort of physics, and I’m sure the developers were frothing at the mouth to try them out on the new hardware. Xavier only knows what they have planned for DOA 6, which is rumoured to be out sometime next year.

in spite of the hyper-sexualization of the female characters, this is a solid fighting game with excellent gameplay mechanics. there’s a lot of stuff to unlock thru the various modes, that you don’t hafta pay for. if you’ve already got either DOA 5 or Ultimate, then there’s really no need to pick this one up, unless you just wanna ogle the women and the new “soft skin” dynamic on the next-gen consoles.

netflix: 4/5

imdb: 8/10

Ultimate Surrender PC mod coming soon!

Ultimate Surrender PC mod coming soon!

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