Posts Tagged ‘I wanna buttfuck Paige’

WrestleMania (Isn’t Wrestling) Part, the 31st

March 29, 2015

this has truly been one of the more lackluster build-ups to the grandaddy of them all, WrestleMania! the biggest news heading into this year’s event is that Brock Lesnar re-signed with the “E” for another three years. I like Brock, he’s one of the few reasons I still follow wrasslin’ having Paul Heyman as his mouthpiece more than compensates for what Brock lacks in mic skills. it seems as tho Vinman has finally cooled to the idea of Roman Reigns being the next big thing. Reigns was a slam dunk to win the title on Sunday, prior to Brock re-signing. I like Reigns potential, but he is clearly not ready to headline WrestleMania. will the Rock show up to lay the groundwork for a match with Brock at next year’s WrestleMania? it certainly should help deflect some of the “X-Pac heat” Reigns is sure to generate when he hits the ring. here are my predictions for the show:

Brock Lesnar d. Roman Reigns – Brock enters this match as the unlikeliest of mega babyfaces and will win clean, but the Rock shows up and lays out the champ. Seth Rollins (fresh off his win over Orton) sees the opportunity to try and cash in his Money in the Bank briefcase. an overconfident Rollins hits Brock with multiple curb stomps, but Brock kicks out at 2, and then goes on a rampage, no-selling all of Seth’s subsequent offense. Brock F5s Rollins and J&J Security all in one move, and covers them to retain.

Bray Wyatt d. Undertaker – with Taker’s streak over, there’s no reason Bray should not go over. Bray has done an exemplary job of carrying this feud by himself for the past coupla months, and this win would help solidify his status as a main-eventer. plus, it would be a measure of revenge for Bray’s daddy losing to Taker at the Royal Rumble in 1995.

John Cena d. Rusev – this match has all the trappings of a Hulk Hogan vs. Nikolai Volkoff feud from 30 years ago. John Cena defending America’s honour by taking back the US title from the evil empire. does this feud continue after Mania, or will Rusev and Lana be re-packaged as FOB Lithuanian breakdancing enthusiasts?

Sting d. Triple H – a feud that’s been simmering since Survivor Series. the final WCW guy to wrassle in a WWE ring. this storyline has kinda devolved the last few weeks, so it’s no surprise that rumours abound of Trips going over. it’s 50/50 at best that Sting even wrestles another match after this. if Sting loses, it just proves the theory that Vinman never wanted WCW guys to look strong in WWE, and esp. not on the biggest show of the year!

Seth Rollins d. Randy Orton – this match has the potential to steal the show, and I could see either one of these guys winning. Rollins proved he was ready for the main event after his showing at the Royal Rumble. along with help from the Authority, he put Orton out of action for several months. if Rollins loses, I have a feeling he will cash in his MITB briefcase at the end of the show. either way, I think he will be involved in the main event to some extent.

Daniel Bryan wins the IC ladder match – Sheamus could be a surprise entrant in this match. I could see him and Bryan being the last two standing, and after Bryan claims the belt. Sheamus goes to congratulate Daniel after the match, but then goes full blown heel by attacking him instead. Sheamus is much better as a heel.

AJ Lee & Paige d. the Bella Twins – rumours of divorce began swirling this week when AJ unfollowed CM Punk on Twitter. in other news, Nikki Bella is a pretty good heel. maybe this will be when Brie turns on Nikki.

Ryback wins the Andre the Giant memorial battle royal – on a very short list that includes Curtis Axel and Mizdow. this match was bumped to the pre-show, so perhaps the battle royal will lead to a match on the main card. hopefully, we will finally get that Miz vs. Mizdow match!

Cesaro and Kidd retain the tag titles – what a shame that the tag team division has fallen into obscurity. they can’t even find 10 minutes in a 4 hour show to showcase what talent they do have.

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