A Whole Huge Bucket Of New Shows

saw the new Futurama movie last nite, Into The Wild Green Yonder. I will be back later in the week with a more thorough review, but I’ll say that it was very good.

during the intermission, I delighted audience members with several quotes from season 1 of Xavier: Renegade Angel

TEASGJ – Tim & Eric throw a house party, James Quall is gonna be there; Diah-rhea Jones for the Cinco D-Pants; Dr. Alan Thicke for the Cinco Napple; Tairy Greene gives another acting lesson to some of Hollywood’s finest child actors: FIX THE FERN BACK!!!: 6

Tairy Greene on the ways of the thespian

Xavier: Renegade Angel – the X-man helps grieving parents cope with the loss of their son, by replacing him with a boy, whom he believes is being molested by a priest: 8

Xavier: Renegade Social Services Worker

Robot Chicken – how Freddy Kreuger got his start; Living Lohan; Powerpuff Girls on drugs; Criss Angel visits Hogwarts; Monchichis draw first blood: 7

Family Guy – Bonnie finally delivers the baby she’s been carrying for 10 years! this episode was bogged down with more non-essential sequences than usual (at least to me): 7

American Dad – the Smiths find out Roger has been cheating on them with multiple families: 7

The Simpsons – I forgot what the plot was about (partly b/c I was nodding off), but it was the first Simpsons broadcast in HD, so you know, there’s that…:5

but wait, there’s more! I also found out about these new videos on youtube where users take popular songs, and then re-work the music with the Mcrosoft SongSmith, while leaving the original lyrics intact. some were hit or miss, but there were a few that I found incredibly funny. most notably Metallica’s “Blackened” and Motorhead’s “Ace of Spades”

The Anus: Nature’s Most Enchanting Hole

so I sez to Mabel, I sez, “do you wanna come over and have a look at my Family Guy etchings?”

and she was all like “I don’t watch Family Guy”

so then I was all like “what’s an etching? I meant do you wanna come over and watch this documentary on enemas?”

after much trepidation on her part, I added “it’s in 720p for chrissakes!”

this is another awesome Kink test shoot, from the mind of Lochai. Dana DeArmond and Trinity Post are two dancers who arrive in NYC for auditions. the maid, played by Sev…er, I mean, Adrianna Nicole, shows up, and invites them out for a nite they shant soon forget. they arrive in a basement type thingy where Aiden Starr and Lochai are waiting to administer enemas. this is a 75-minute journey thru all things ass! enemas, ass worship, spanking, ass fucking, it’s an ass lovers dream! here’s hoping they will turn this in to a full-on site in the near future.

Happy Valentine’s Day, Mabel!

watch the trailer here

watch the BehindKink feature on this shoot here

“not bad, could use more coconut”

No Way Out Predictions

back with more bold-ass predictions for WWE’s No Way Out pay per view tomorrow nite. if you were lucky enough to find someone stupid enough to take bets on last month’s Royal Rumble, then you my friend, went a perfect 4-for-4. we successfully predicted all 3 title matches.

our 3 picks for the Rumble match included the winner (Orton), the runner-up (Triple H), and a man who was in the ring for over 37 minutes (Jericho)

No Way Out is one of those secondary pay per views, that gets notoriety because it lands in between the Rumble and WrestleMania. overall, the card is fairly cut and dry.

two world title matches taking place inside the Elimination Chamber. the ECW title match; a no holds barred match between Randy Orton and Shane McMahon; and an all-or-nothing match between Shawn Michaels and JBL

WHC Elimination Chamber Match:
John Cena (c) Chris Jericho, Rey Mysterio, Kofi Kingston, Kane, Mike Knox

WWE Elimination Chamber Match:
Edge (c) Triple H, Undertaker, Jeff Hardy, Big Show, Vladimir Kozlov

for these two matches I listed the participants in order of most likely to win the match. I really don’t see either title changing hands. you can pretty much bet on Cena vs. Orton and Edge vs. Triple H at WrestleMania.

Jack Swagger (c) d. Finlay to retain the ECW title
it doesn’t matter who wins this match, b/c now that Christian is back, neither one of these men are in for a lengthy title run.

Randy Orton d. Shane McMahon
this match could very well steal the show. Orton is on another monstrous push, fresh off winning the Rumble. Shane O’Mac doesn’t wrestle that often, but when he does, his workrate is always top-notch. I expect this to be a bloody match!

Shawn Michaels d. JBL
I’m only picking HBK b/c I desperately want to see this feud come to an end. I hope they don’t try to drag this out until WrestleMania.

Zack & Miri Exchange Bodily Fluids On Camera For Financial Gain

Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks star as two roommates who are flat broke, and decide to make a porno, so they can pay the bills. but, along the way, they fall in love.

awww, such formulaic drivel, it could’ve spewed forth from the laptop of the most worthless Hollywood hack, who thinks they can write, just b/c they’ve got two seasons worth of “According To Jim” fan fiction stored on their Asus.

nothing says we’re a legitimate big-budget Hollywood comedy spoofing adult films, like having Traci Lords in your movie. she plays “Bubbles”, a stripper who fucks some dude in the ass with a strap-on (not that there’s anything wrong with that)

the laughs are few and far between. in fact, the guy who played Lester just about stole every scene he was in. not to mention he lays the wood to Katie Morgan. you might remember her from such films as Pink Paradise, Double Decker Sandwich 9, and The Erotic Ghost Whisperer. I’m beginning to think every Seth Rogen movie is pretty much the same. 3 unpaid utilities bills…out of 5

***MC CHRIS ALERT***
they played “Fett’s Vette” at around the 42:00 mark

“will you star in this bland sex comedy with me?”

What Is You, A Weisenheimer?

hold the heimer, I’m just a man of great weisen. now squeeze that heimer ’til it pops like a balloonivore feasting on the lifechops of his own demise.”

can you believe it’s been a friggin’ year since the epic shokashuri blowdown between Xavier and Xavier, what done concluded the epic first season. I can’t tell you how I frothed in anticipation of the new season. I once sent an email to PFFR with certain philosophical queries that may or may not be answered during season 2. I speculated in said email on Xavier’s nationality, which I may or may not be right on. we’ll see. the new season of Xavier begins tonite at 12:15 AM.

Xavier meets Xavier in the most epicest shokashuri blowdown ever!!!

with that being said, I am a little confused as to why Xavier is not airing on Sunday nites. seeing as how this is usually [adult swim] version of “Must See Thursday” anyways, I also want Xavier merchandise: bobblehead dolls, t-shirts, season 1 on dvd, where it be at?

Ultimate Surrender – S6E23 – (8) Bella Rossi vs. (9) Annie Cruz

the Annihilatrix is back to dish out more punishment, with her weapons of ass destruction. she cocked Trina Michaels clock off in her debut match, and now has her sights set on the pound-for-pound squirting queen of the adult industry.

Annie Cruz also holds a victory over Trina Michaels this season. she has been training with Dia Zerva, so there is much hope that she can make some progress up the Ultimate Surrender table in season 6.

heading in to this match, I was expecting one of two things: either I would be the only person on the US forum, to correctly predict Annie would win OR Annie would lose by a wide margin, get fucked in her ass, forced to squirt on the mat via a sybian, and left lying in a pool of her own love juices.

“Welcome to you’re doom!”

next week, we have two gals making their US debuts. Coffee “Grinder” Brown vs. Yana “Wildcat” Jordan. the winner of that match gets a spot in the top 10. I think we all know who Xavier would pick!

in other US news, it was revealed that while Isis is expected to make a full recovery from the torn ACL she suffered during a tag team match last summer, she will not be competing in season 6. we here at IGRO wish the Goddess…of Sodomy all the best. hope to see her in season 7

Tim & Eric Awesome Show Great Job Season 2 Out Now On DVD

ah yes, and what an awesome season it was. 10 shaft-hardening episodes for your viewing pleasure. buttloads of celebrity cameos, and the off-the-wall kind of humour you love!

all your favourite sketches are here on one convenient DVD.
Pussy Doodles
Dr. Steve Brule
Spagett
The Cinco Library Encyclopedia of Numbers
Dave Navarro in the Dunngeon
The Snuggler
KJ Nutt, Hole Expert
The Innernette
and so much more

it’s pure viewing satisfaction for the whole family!

He’ll snuggle you back to health

Dr. Steve Brule, for your wine!

Dave Navarro chats with Richard Dunn

PUSSY DOODLES!

Tropic Thunder Review

a quick disclaimer to say that this movie stars two of my least-favourite actors in Tom Cruise and Ben Stiller.

Ben Stiller stars and directs in this spoof of such war movies as Platoon and Apocalypse Now

the basic premise is that five actors are taken in to the jungles of Vietnam, and stranded there, so they can film a movie that’s already behind schedule.

as a last ditch effort, the director decides to shoot the film guerilla style, with improv dialogue, and using multiple hidden cameras, to try and capture the feel of a real war scenario.

the Tom Cruise Rule was in full effect in this movie. this simple law states that no matter what role Tom Cruise plays, it’s always just Tom Cruise playing Tom Cruise. I learned this while listening to Don & Mike several years ago.

the role he attempts to play in this movie, is that of a hot-tempered movie mogul, who is financing the film, that Stiller and company are trying to shoot.

the rest of Stiller’s platoon includes:
Robert Downey, Jr. plays an Australian, playing a black guy
Jack Black plays an actor best known for his farts, and an addiction to heroin
Brandon T. Jackson as Alpa Chino, a rapper who crosses over in to movies while promoting his “Booty Sweat” energy drink, and “Bust-A-Nut” candy bar
Jay Baruchel aka some dude from Knocked Up, born in Ottawa, but secretly likes the Canadiens

also stars Nick Nolte as John “Four Leaf” Tayback the author of the book they are basing the film on
and Matthew McConaughey as Ben Stiller’s agent

the faux movie previews at the beginning were funny. overall, this was good for a few laughs. I’m glad I didn’t waste my money on it in the theatres. thanks, Netflix! I give this movie 3 hackneyed movie premises…out of 5.

Tim & Eric Awesome Tour Great Review (With Pictures)

Tim & Eric brought their awesome tour to the world-famous 6th & I Synagogue in Washington, DC on Feb. 2, and this is my review:

DJ Dougg Pound was the opening act. he’s a dj who mixed breakbeats with a few jokes, and a whole lotta “FUCK YEAHS!!!” at the end of his set, he told us this wasn’t a seated show, and everyone should come to the front of the stage.

Tim & Eric were out of the gate quickly with an explosive opening number “The Diarrhea Song” for which they were presented awards. very catchy tune, almost made me wish I had shit my pants.

Tim & Eric perform “The Diarrhea Song” to open the show

from there, they segued nicely in to the Beaver Boys. this was the audience participation portion of the nite, where they grabbed a dude from the audience, put him in a dress and a wig, and slapped some female naughty bits on him. they blindfolded Tim, and let him grope the dude.

James Quall was out with his unique brand of 1950s era stand-up. he also performed a bitchin’ version of “Beach Blast” which sent the crowd in to a frenzy.

“they say the new Red Skelton postage stamp is self-adhesive. I guess that’s fitting, because in business, he was always tough to lick.”

Sire came out to sing “Sexual Romance” and Tim was dressed in a thong, as he proceeded to have his way with a blow-up doll. however, Tim was unhappy with the skit, so he stopped to complain, at which point Eric fired everyone. as Eric was berating the audience, Spagett came from out of nowhere to spook him.

Sire singing “Sexual Romance”

Tim cuts the sketch abruptly

Eric fires everyone

SPAGETT!!!

DL Hart came out with a wide variety of puppets, and performed some of his original music including his hit “I’m The Best Son (No, I’m The Best Dad)” it was awesome!

in between skits, they showed various clips from the upcoming season (which premieres tonite) Richard Dunn delivered a special message via tape at the start of the show. other sketches which aired included a commercial for “Diarrhea Pants” from Cinco. the storyline of the vignettes that they were airing revolved around Tim & Eric taking a road trip to Florida so that they could have a party in Eric’s parents hotel room, while they were out scuba diving, or something like that)

the end of the show brought about another round of audience participation. several audience members had to guess the celebrity guest appearance in a sort of “$25,000 Pyramid” game show type thingy. a dude who was dressed as Spagett was arguably just as over with the audience as the stars of the show were. Weird Al made a surprise guest appearance at the very end, BUT, some ppl think he might have been a look-a-like who was planted by Tim & Eric. this reporter is still unsure.

Faker Spagett and Tim during end of show contest

after the show, I got Tim to autograph a postcard. he thanked me for coming out, and I said “no, thank you, brah-brah-brah!” I also met DL Hart outside the venue, where he was pedaling a cd of his original music for like $10. he claimed he was 4 months late on his rent. I’m not sure if this was a work, or a shoot.

DL Hart talks with a fan about his cd of original music

in conclusion, this was indeed an awesome show. outside of the hot tub sales sketch, there were no lulls in the action. I’m glad I made it out for this one, and I would definitely check them out the next time they came to town. the new season starts tonite at 12:30 AM!!!

Tim & Eric closing the show

(l to r) Tim Heidecker, DL Hart, James Quall, Sire, Eric Wareheim

Tim & Eric Shirt Finds Spot In Local Man’s Non-Work Shirt Rotation

fresh off the Tim & Eric show in DC this past Monday, local comedy buff, Nathan Scott Phillips, was overly ecstatic about the tour shirt he bought.

“yeah, I was looking for a non-band shirt to complement the solid rotation of shirts I wear on my days off.” he said

the gray Tim & Eric shirt joins Ween, Celtic Frost, Skinny Puppy, and Dark Funeral, among those slated to see action on the days when Mr. Philips is not working his job as the assistant elephant semen extractor at the National Zoo.

Tim & Eric shirt chats it up during Friday’s orientaion, with Ween shirt that was purchased in January of 2008