Whipped Ass 2012: Scenes #11-15

week 5 of our continuing countdown of every Whipped Ass scene from 2012. criteria is as follows:
1) strapons (anal is always a bonus)
2) flow of the action
3) overall appeal of the models

15. Penny Pax (Felony) – March 30 – this was the second (and the highest-charting) of three shoots where Penny subbed. Felony incorporates heavy corporal punishment, foot and nipple torture, pussy smothering, and a deep hard anal fucking thrown in for good measure.

14. Calico (Maitresse Madeline, Skin Diamond) – July 27 – Calico returns for the first time in over a year, to endure tight bondage, fisting, spanking, and her first ever double penetration.

13. Naidyne (Aiden Starr) – June 1 – Naidyne is a 19 year-old cutie making her first ever porn! other notable firsts include her first time doing BDSM, first time getting fucked with a strap-on, and her first time with a woman.

12. Lorelei Lee (Francesca Le) – July 13 – Lorelei lives out her fantasy of being dominated by uber-MILF, Francesca, in this roleplay update. a girls night out of cocktails and ouija turns into a hot lesbian BDSM session featuring spanking, ropeplay, and strapon assfucking.

11. Obedient Whores (Brandy Aniston, Bryn Blayne; Felony) – September 28 – Felony has her way with two subs (who could pass for sisters) she uses caning, flogging, and hot wax on them. Felony strapon fucks Brandy in the ass, while Brandy fucks Bryn in the ass with a face dildo.

the countdown rages on next week with scenes 6-10…

Whipped Ass 2012: Scenes #16-20

it’s week 4 of our countdown of every Whipped Ass scene from 2012. criteria is as follows:
1) strap-ons (anal is always a plus)
2) flow of action
3) overall appeal of the models

20. Phoenix Marie (Bobbi Starr) – June 8 – you may remember Phoenix Marie from such films as Lesbian Analingus, Mandingo Massacre 2, and Cum Fart Cocktails 9. she submits to Bobbi Starr, with spanking and foot worship included. her asshole is gaped while on the business end of a damn fine strap-on fucking.

19. Remy Lacroix (Lorelei Lee) – January 13 – on her way to becoming the Best New Starlet at this year’s AVN Awards, Bay Area local, Remy Lacroix, got her start by making the rounds at Kink. in her first ever lesbian scene, she is spanked, blindfolded, water-tortured, clothespinned, fingered, and fucked deep in her ass by Lorelei Lee.

18. Lily Labeau, Mallory Mallone (Maitresse Madeline, Bobbi Starr) – February 10 – the edited live show starring MM and Bobbi topping Lily and Mallory. the subs have their tits and pussies clamped together. lots of great whipping, caning, fisting, and strap-on fucking. plus, no one rocks a pair of leather pants and a strap-on like MM.

17. Sasha Swift (Gia DiMarco) – April 6 – Sasha plays a foreign exchange student, who comes home one nite, to find Gia dressed like her and masturbating to the smell of her panties. something gets lost in translation, as Sasha finds herself handcuffed, spanked, gagged, and fucked in the ass.

16. Jodi Taylor (Aiden Starr) – September 14 – Jodi Taylor was built for punishment. this is her first time in bondage, and her first time getting fucked in the ass. whipping, forced 69, clothespins, and pussy punishment are also included, and she loves it all!

Whipped Ass 2012: Scenes #21-30

it’s part 3 of our countdown of every Whipped Ass scene from 2012. criteria was broken down into three key components:
1) strapons (anal is always a plus)
2) flow of action
3) overall appeal of the models

30. Penny Pax (Francesca Le, Ariel X) – November 2 – fun fact: before becoming the pain slut we’ve all come to know and love, Penny was training to be a cop.

29. Alisha Adams (Lea Lexis) – December 14
28. Iona Grace (Gia DiMarco) – February 17
27. Lia Lor (Chanel Preston, Ashley Fires) – June 15 – Lia and Chanel play girlfriends vying for the affection of their bartender in this lesbian cuckold update.

26. Francesca Le (Maitresse Madeline) – August 24
25. Josi Valentine (Maitresse Madeline, Lorelei Lee) – October 5
24. Casey Calvert (Chanel Preston, Gia DiMarco) – November 30 – Casey gets paired up with Chanel and Gia, in her first ever porno shoot, lucky bitch!

23. Bonnie Day (Maitresse Madeline) – December 7
22. Andy San Dimas (Gia DiMarco) – April 13 – Gia promises to bring Andy back to her bottom bitch roots, as Andy returns to the Armory for the first time in four years.

21. Angell Summers (Maitresse Madeline) – August 3

coming next week, scenes 16-20

Whipped Ass 2012: Scenes #31-40

part two of our countdown of every scene released by Whipped Ass in 2012. this does not include the bonus teaser videos they were posting to hype their Girl of the Month shoots. the criteria is pretty basic:
1) strapons (anal is always a plus)
2) flow of the action
3) chemistry and appeal of the models

40. Asa Akira (Chanel Preston) – June 29 – two of our favourites, and yet this one just didn’t live up to the potential.

39. Justine Joli (Felony) – June 22
38. Shane Dos Santos (Aiden Starr, Ashley Fires) – March 9
37. Krissy Lynn (Lea Lexis) – December 28
36. Chastity Lynn (Bobbi Starr, Nicki Hunter) – March 23
35. Penny Pax (Dylan Ryan) – February 24
34. Taylor Vixen (Bobbi Starr) – April 20 – a Penthouse Pet of the Year and Twisty’s Treat of the Month

33. Charisma Cappelli (Chanel Preston) – March 2
32. Darling (Ariel X) – December 20
31. Simone Sonay (Chanel Preston, Lorelei Lee) – September 21 – Chanel finds out her stepmother is a total whore, so she invites her BFF, Lorelei, over to help fuck the shit out of her.

scenes 21-30 coming next week…

Whipped Ass 2012: Scenes #41-52

instead of listing the top 20 scenes, we decided to go thru, and rank all 52 updates. it’s a dirty job, but someone’s gotta do it! criteria was pretty simple:
1) strap-ons are practically a must
2) does the action flow
3) does the storyline (where applicable) make sense
4) overall appeal of the models

52. Justine Joli’s Birthday Party (Audrey Rose, Beretta James) – August 10 – would’ve worked better as a bonus update

51. Monique Alexander (Bobbi Starr) – July 20
50. Raylene (Lorelei Lee, Andy San Dimas) – May 25
49. Adrianna Luna (Felony) – January 6
48. Kirsten Price (Aiden Starr) – November 9
47. Sins Of The Flesh (Felony; Sarah Shevon, Jodi Taylor) – October 25 – much like tinsel to Frank Costanza, I find religious imagery in my porn, very distracting

46. The Audition (Lorelei Lee; Sheena Shaw, Leya Falcon) – November 23
45. Little Lesbian Cuckold Bitch (Aiden Starr; Eva Fenix, Jessi Palmer) – May 18
44. Bella Wilde (Bobbi Starr) – August 17
43. Lezdom Chastity Cuckold (Aiden Starr; Kelly Divine, Sarah Shevon) – January 20
42. Alice Frost (Bobbi Starr) – November 16
41. Cassandra Nix (Lorelei Lee) – May 4

scenes 31-40 coming next week…

Whipped Ass 2012: Individual Awards To The Women Who Helped Us Plop Our Glopper

as much as I blog about Ultimate Surrender, it may come as a surprise, that it’s not even my favourite Kink site. that honour is bestowed upon Whipped Ass. 2012 was a banner year for the site, introducing the Girl of the Month feature, a live birthday show featuring Justine Joli, and LESBIAN CUCKOLDING! next week, I’ll be starting my countdown of the 20 best scenes of 2012, but first, let’s take a look at some of the year’s standout individual performances:

Best New Domme: Chanel Preston

Chanel Preston subbed on two separate occasions, before taking the plunge as a full-time domme, in 2012. she proved more than capable of putting subs thru their paces. her appearance as a woman vying with her cuckold girlfriend for the affection of a bartender in the June 15 shoot, was a real ballbuster.

 

 

Best Switch: Francesca Le

arguably the hottest MILF in porn, Francesca Le started working for Whipped Ass in 2012. whether she’s dishing it out or on the receiving end, she makes it look pretty damn sexy. her May 11 shoot (with Bobbi Starr and Lorelei Lee) as a double-crossed doctor, made for a helluva debut.

 

 

Crossover Starlet: Phoenix Marie (June 8)

those of you who like big wet butts are no doubt familiar with Phoenix Marie. known for her propensity for anal sex, her turn at subbing to Bobbi Starr, was a crowd-pleaser for fans of her gonzo porn work, and lezdom fans alike.

 

 

Best Cuckold: Katherine Cane (August 31)

among the handful of cuckold scenes released in 2012, Katherine Cane’s performance was the best. her various reactions in the bar scene made it that much more enjoyable. having Gia DiMarco sit on her face didn’t hurt either.

 

 

Best Sub: Ashlynn Leigh (February 3)

at just 19 years old, Ashlynn Leigh was one of the hottest new things to hit the jizz biz in 2012. her shoot in February was a tour de force gangbang co-starring Gia DiMarco, Felony, and Dylan Ryan. fisting, squirting, and some hardcore assfucking made this one of the most memorable scenes of 2012.

 

 

MVP: Gia DiMarco

we love her slim build, her tattoos, her love of anal, her uncanny ability to squirt, and she’s pretty handy with a strap-on. she’s also one of the hardest working women at Kink, appearing in six Whipped Ass scenes in 2012 (four of which appear in our top 20 list)

To Shave A Woman’s Head

Congress called on the adult film industry to impose stricter standards on performers haircuts, in the wake of an epidemic of starlets who are shaving one side of their head. legislation began in September 2010, following the release of Kagney Linn Karter’s Relentless video. her new haircut left both stylists and perverts baffled. while many of her fans were happy that she was finally doing anal, The Reporters Who Follow The Release Of Masturbatory Fluids, reported that the number of raging hard-ons had dropped nearly 37% from her pre-shaved days. those surveyed indicated it was the 1983 Wendy O. Williams haircut that was responsible for the increase of flaccidity. the bill gained momentum this week, with the release of Evalutionary 2.

Rep. Carl Brutananadilewski (D-NJ) released a statement:
“we have enacted Skin’s Law, which says that only Skin Diamond is allowed to have one side of her head shaved. any other starlet who is caught performing a lascivious sex act on camera, with a similar haircut, will be forced to karaoke one verse of King Diamond’s “Omens”, including the chorus. if she is unable to reach a falsetto pitch, she will be subject to a fine and/or spaghetti dinner at the Olive Garden with yours truly, whichever she prefers.”

Brutananadilewski added “while I’m glad to see Eva Angelina is back doing what she loves, I don’t know what kind of example she’s setting for her two young children. your first on-camera double anal, should be a magical experience u can tell your grandkids about. but they won’t be talking about how u had two throbbing dicks up your shitbox at the same time. no, they’ll be talking about what prompted u to get that 1987 haircut!”

Brutananadilewski was later questioned as to whether he was aware of the G/G scene with Eva and Skin in Evalutionary 2. he replied no, but that his penis sure was, BUH HUH!!!

I Like To Try Out New Material On The Brazzers Forums

fartin’, pissin’, strokin’ my fuckin’ dick on ZZ, but it’s been a fairly slow week. they pulled the Mia Lelani Big Butts Like It Big scene, after it had already been posted. presumably, b/c they forgot the anal. “SACRE BLOW IT OUT YOUR ASS!” she said while winking at me with her browneye.

so one day after work, I decided to troll the forums looking to post shit in some of the more ridiculous threads. one gentleman started a thread saying he was willing to pay $10,000 to have sex with some of his favourite porn stars (including Vanilla DeVille):

I cracked open a Henieken, and went to work. it took me all of about 5 minutes to come up with a response to mirror the presumptive hilariousness of the OP’s thread request:

“oh word! I was just hanging out with Vanilla the other day. we went shopping at IKEA for an armoire. she also talked me out of buying a pair of blue capri pants. she came back to my place and we watched Tim & Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie. FYI, John C. Reilly should be getting the Oscar next year. she helped me put on my GI Joe glow-in-the-dark pajamas, and then read me the LA Law parody from Mad Magazine #274, for my bedtime story. Best Date Ever!!!”

my work paid off, b/c Ms. DeVille responded to the thread shortly thereafter:
“LMAO!!!! That’s fucking awesome! I’m literally laughing out loud!!!”

as a result, I was promoted to Softcore Brazzer Member, which means I’m only allowed to masturbate during the dialogue parts. and this thread will be turned into a smash hit scene for MILFs Like It Flaccid. score one for PIMP ALFE!!!

Even Tho It Was My Day Off, I Was Still Fairly Active On The ZZ Forums

a wide variety of topics were covered by myself, as I let every mother fucker know exactly how I felt about the following:

ON RIHANNA RIMES NEW BOOB JOB:
“I saw her new update on round and brown. her new tits are overkill! I prefer her pre-boob job. if it ain’t broke, don’t try and fix it!”

ON THE STATE OF WICKED.COM:
“Wicked is one of the few studios that can have the hottest chicks and the hottest scenarios, and find a way to fuck it up completely. add to that, their live shows are about as entertaining as watching paint dry.”

ON THE KAGNEY LINN KARTER THREAD:
“xrentdvd is listing the release date as March 1” in response to when the KLK Gangbanged movie by Elegant Angel was coming out (even tho I really don’t go for that shit)

IN THE COMMENT SECTION FOR THE UPCOMING SCENE WITH SHYLA STYLEZ AND JESSICA JAYMES:
“@coug504
if by ass, u mean vagina, then yes, she’s (Jessica Jaymes) taking it in her ass”

my official “pimpin’ ain’t easy” avatar…ALFE!!!

Cheggit Out? Americans Face Prospect Of Having To Pay For Their Wanking Material

The Reporters Who Cover Pornography, are confirming that cheggit.net has gone the way of the dinosaurs. cheggit was widely considered to be the last great bastion of free smut, following the demise of puretna, in late 2011. in a world filled with virus-laden tube sites, cheggit was a great place to go, if u wanted to see a bunch of hot chicks lounging around the pool, and fucking each other in the ass with strapon dildos, or so I’ve been told.

it was back on January 23, that the site was down for routine maintenance, and that it would be up again shortly. this would signal the beginning of the end for cheggit. in a statement released on Wednesday, mods said that the closing was not related to the FBI’s recent shutdown of megaupload. the bold new vision, laid out in December, just wasn’t feasible, and mods could not come to terms on the direction of the site.

they could’ve just as easily gone dark, but they are keeping their forums open. users can submit jokes, which now appear on the main page, in lieu of the site’s login page. click here to read the official statement.

local pervert, Leonard “Big Jilm” Brahstein, said he was sad to see cheggit fold up shop, but that he had enough ass-related p-pr0n to “choke a baby elephant.” sources are confirming that Brahstein is now contemplating a monthly membership to Brazzers, once he figures out how to file his taxes.

what, me horny?